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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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Economic
growth
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 is considered the most crucial goal for many
governments
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,
while
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 some
people
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 argue that the importance of other developments is equally important as the economy.
This
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 essay will discuss both views and explain why I believe that other types of progress are
also
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 essential. On the one hand, many
governments
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 believe that their most vital goal is economic progress because it is the most obvious factor reflecting their performance.
Due to
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 capitalism, money plays a key role in developing
countries
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 and
a
Add a missing verb
is a
show examples
key indicator of a nation's power.
As a result
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, the
countries
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 with higher economic
growth
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 are normally categorized as developed
countries
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.
For example
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, the United States and China, where their markets are enormous and their GDP
growth
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 rates are much higher than other
countries
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, have become the most influential nations in the world.
On the other hand
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, some
people
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 think that other types of improvement are equally important because they contribute directly to the citizens' quality of life. Apart from focusing purely on economic
growth
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,
governments
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 should
also
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 invest in other areas
such
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 as education, basic infrastructure, housing, and even transportation. These essential elements play a crucial role in enhancing
people
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's lives, increasing happiness and eventually leading to comprehensive development.
For instance
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, many
countries
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 in Scandinavia set their primary goal based on living experiences.
Consequently
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, they build free spaces and bicycle lanes for their residents, improving
overall
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 quality of life,
mental
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and mental
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 and physical health
in particular
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. In conclusion,
although
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 economic improvement is essential for
governments
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 because the index related to finances is usually associated with a nation's power, other types of progress are equally important.
Governments
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 should include basic infrastructure, education, transportation systems, and housing in their main objectives. By improving these factors,
people
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's quality of life will be definitely improved.

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Task Achievement
Your essay presents a clear argument and addresses both sides of the topic effectively. However, include more specific examples to fully support your points.
Coherence and Cohesion
To enhance coherence, consider using more varied linking phrases to improve the flow between ideas. This could bring additional clarity to your argument.
Coherence and Cohesion
The introduction sets a good context for the discussion, clearly outlining the different perspectives.
Task Achievement
You provide relevant examples, such as the comparison of economic growth in the United States and China, which strengthen your argument.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • standard of living
  • sustainable development
  • social equality
  • environmental degradation
  • cultural heritage
  • technological innovation
  • wealth disparity
  • human development index
  • holistic approach
  • quality of life
  • economic prosperity
  • healthcare system
  • education system
  • cultural diversity
  • policy decisions
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