IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Governments should spend money on railways rather than roads. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#governments #money #railways #roads
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Train transport is
one
 of the most widely used facilities both by the public and for transporting goods.
Therefore
, I strongly agree with the given statement with my illustrations below. On the
one
 hand, In
this
 busy world, most people use railways for office transit in day-to-day life which saves time and money.
For instance
, It is said that in India alone more than two crore passengers travel by train to the office in
one
 day. It's
also
one
 of the fastest and safest transportation facilities for the public.
On the other hand
,
this
 facilitates cargo transports much easier and quicker than roads.
For example
, compared to truck services, railways can carry large amounts of goods which leads to a much more cost-effective way
thus
 boosting the economic growth in the business ecosystem. In conclusion, the governments ought to invest in railways more than roads which help in many aspects
such
 as saving time and money for both citizens as well for the country's economy in supporting goods transportation.
Submitted by rinoldev on

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task achievement
Expand the introduction to provide a clearer overview of the arguments you will discuss.
task achievement
Try to provide more than two examples or angles on your topic to make your response more well-rounded.
coherence cohesion
Transition between points could be improved by using more explicit linking words.
coherence cohesion
Your conclusion effectively summarizes your main arguments and reinforces your position.
task achievement
The essay presents clear ideas and supports them with logical justifications.
task achievement
You provided specific examples, which help illustrate your points effectively.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Carbon emissions
  • Mass transportation
  • Traffic congestion
  • Economic growth
  • Regional development
  • Initial investment
  • Feasibility
  • Flexibility
  • Rural areas
  • Integration
  • Sustainable
  • Efficiency
  • Infrastructure
  • Commuters
  • Public expenditure
  • Autonomous vehicles
  • Long-term investment
  • Accessibility
  • Connectivity
  • Modal shift
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