IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Life is better now as compare to 100 years ago. How far do you agree or disagree?

In
concurrent
Add an article
a concurrent
the concurrent
show examples
 era, life in comparison
a
Change preposition
to a
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century ago is considered to be much
secure
Correct quantifier usage
more secure
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 and prosperous.
This
Linking Words
 essay is an attempt to address why
current
Correct article usage
the current
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 lifestyle is better in comparison. In my
opinion
Add a comma
opinion,
show examples
such
Linking Words
 a
development
Use synonyms
 of
current
Correct article usage
the current
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 lifestyle seems to be true. First and foremost, now masses easily sort out all the things with the help of social
media
Use synonyms
 or google
due to
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the
Replace the word
technological
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technology
Use synonyms
 advancement.
For instance
Linking Words
, they can easily travel or explore
the
Correct article usage
apply
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things with the help of
google maps
Correct your spelling
Google Maps
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.
Secondly
Linking Words
, people are not dependent on someone they can easily use
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
technology
Use synonyms
 and find
out
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
solution
Fix the agreement mistake
solutions
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 for
theirselves
Correct your spelling
themselves
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 in their daily
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
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.
Technology
Use synonyms
development
Use synonyms
playing
Wrong verb form
plays
show examples
 a crucial role
to provide
Change preposition
in providing
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
better
lives
Correct the article-noun agreement
life
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 for others.
Moreover
Linking Words
, people who have no time and feel alone
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
are using
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
social
media
Use synonyms
 to release their stress and they are enjoying
while
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 listening to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
music and stress-buster activities.
In addition
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, students who are living
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
abroad and far away from their families or friends
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
can easily talk to them on call or video calls. On
contrary
Correct article usage
the contrary
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,
due to
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advancement
Fix the agreement mistake
advancements
show examples
in
technology
Use synonyms
 people who are not able to use
technology
Use synonyms
 and
Add a missing verb
are illiterate
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illiterate
Add a comma
illiterate,
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they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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feel alone because no one
spend
Change the verb form
spends
show examples
 quality time with them.
Furthermore
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, the usage of social
media
Use synonyms
 creates a huge impact on youngsters or children,
Linking Words
this
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
making
such
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 a practice or
development
Use synonyms
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
overall
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 beneficial for
country
Correct article usage
the country
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 and individuals as well.
To conclude
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, indubitably, social
media
Use synonyms
leading
Verb problem
is
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 a major cause
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 behaviour and
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
mental illness, yet
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
technology
Use synonyms
playing
Wrong verb form
plays
show examples
 a vast role
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
all over the world,
thus
Linking Words
 making
such
Linking Words
 a practice or
development
Use synonyms
 an
overall
Linking Words
beneficial
Replace the word
benefit
show examples
 for
country
Correct article usage
the country
show examples
 and individuals as well.

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Task Achievement
Clarify the main argument in the introduction to make it clearer how your points relate to the statement.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that relates back to your thesis statement for better coherence.
Task Achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your points, as current examples feel a bit general.
Coherence and Cohesion
Revise sentence structures to improve grammatical accuracy and avoid repetition
Task Achievement
Summarize your main points in the conclusion and reaffirm your stance for a stronger ending.
Task Achievement
The essay presents a clear stance on the topic, indicating a preference for the modern lifestyle.
Task Achievement
You used a range of ideas about social media and technology, which shows an attempt to explore the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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