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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

In some countries, students live at home with their family while they study at university, whereas in other countries students attend university in another city. Do the advantages of living away from home during university outweigh the disadvantages?

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In certain countries,
university
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students
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 stay with their families
while
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 pursuing their studies,
whereas
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in
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, in
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 others, they move to a different city to attend
university
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.
While
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 some believe that living away from home during
university
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 offers valuable independence and life experience, others do not see these benefits as outweighing the potential drawbacks.
This
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 essay will discuss both sides of the argument in detail. Some
students
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 who study in their hometown and live with their
family
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families
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 experience less stress about daily necessities and maintaining a comfortable lifestyle for studying.
In other words
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, being with family helps
students
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 meet their needs more easily compared to those studying in another city, far from home.
For example
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, if
students
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 living alone want to have a meal, they need to go to the supermarket, buy groceries, and spend both time and money.
However
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, a student living with their family doesn't need to spend extra money or effort on
such
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 things. Not everything about living with family
while
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 studying is beneficial. Some
students
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 who live at home don’t get the chance to become independent, which might delay their readiness for future life and self-reliance.
This
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 challenge is less significant for
students
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 who live in dormitories or away from their families, as they are already learning how to manage life on their own. In conclusion,
while
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students
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 in some countries remain with their families during
university
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, others relocate to different cities to continue their education. Living with family can provide more free time to focus on reading and studying, making it a valuable opportunity to take advantage of.

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Task Achievement
Consider providing a more in-depth analysis of the advantages and disadvantages. This could include additional points such as financial implications, social life experiences, and academic performance.
Coherence and Cohesion
Enhance the logical flow by using more varied transition words to connect ideas between paragraphs. This will help guide the reader more clearly through your arguments.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs discussing pros and cons, and a conclusion.
Task Achievement
You effectively acknowledge both sides of the argument and present clear points.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • fosters independence
  • self-reliance
  • essential life skills
  • cultural backgrounds
  • academic performance
  • resilience
  • adaptability
  • financially burdensome
  • homesickness
  • emotional stress
  • mental health
  • familial support
  • isolation and loneliness
  • stable and supportive environment
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