Museum and Art Galleries should concentrate on work that show history and culture of their own country rather than work of the other part in the world.To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Museums
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and
art
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galleries are important places for learning about
history
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and
culture
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. Some
people
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think they should focus on the
history
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and
culture
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of their own country. Others believe they should
also
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show
work
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from other parts of the world. In my opinion,
museums
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should display both local and international
work
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.
First,
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it is important for
museums
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to show the
history
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and
culture
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of their own country.
This
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helps
people
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understand their traditions and past. When
people
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learn about their country’s
history
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, they feel proud and connected to their roots.
For example
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, in France, the Louvre Museum displays famous French
art
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, which helps
people
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appreciate their
culture
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.
However
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,
museums
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should
also
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display international
art
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and
history
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. The world is connected, and
people
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should learn about other cultures too.
This
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helps
people
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understand different traditions and respect others.
For example
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, the British Museum in London has
art
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and objects from many countries.
This
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teaches visitors about the
history
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of the world, not just one country.
Moreover
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, showing international
work
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makes
museums
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more interesting.
People
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can see different styles of
art
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and learn new things.
This
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can attract more visitors and help
museums
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earn more money. In conclusion,
museums
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should show both local and international
work
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. Local
history
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is important for cultural identity, but learning about other countries is
also
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valuable. A mix of both will make
museums
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more educational and enjoyable for everyone.

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task achievement
Try to elaborate more on your points with additional examples or explanations. This will enhance the depth of your argument.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next, perhaps by using linking phrases. This will improve overall flow.
task achievement
Consider adding a counterargument to strengthen your position. This will showcase critical thinking and balance in your writing.
task achievement
The essay presents a clear opinion and maintains it throughout, showing a strong understanding of the topic.
coherence and cohesion
There is a logical progression of ideas, with clear topic sentences to guide the reader.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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