IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. You are part of a group of musicians who meet on Tuesday and Friday evenings to practise in the community hall. You have been told, however, that it is no longer possible for the group to use the hall. Write a letter to the manager. In the letter: describe what the group doesexplain why the group is good for the communitysuggest alternative days and times for practice

Dear Sir, I am writing
this
Linking Words
 letter to inform you about the cancellation of the
music
Use synonyms
practice
Use synonyms
 schedule in the community hall
along with
Linking Words
 the request to provide a new timetable for rehearsals. I am living in
this
Linking Words
 St. Peter
Society
Use synonyms
, and my
music
Use synonyms
 band including various members of our
society
Use synonyms
 were practising for the
music
Use synonyms
 in the community hall every Tuesday and Friday from 05:00 pm - 08:00 pm.
Music
Use synonyms
 is a significant form of art which
help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
show examples
 to express messages or thoughts to aware societies.
Also
Linking Words
, create a sense of community spirit, and
culutural
Correct your spelling
cultural
 engagement. But I received a letter yesterday informing me our schedule has been cancelled because art classes are going to start there.
However
Linking Words
, I did not receive any other scheduled time for
practice
Use synonyms
. As you know next month, there is a Talent Hunt program organised in our city, and the winning team will get a cash prize of $25,000 as a donation to their
society
Use synonyms
. Understandable, that art
practice
Use synonyms
 is
also
Linking Words
 required to earn more rewards for our
society
Use synonyms
, still
music
Use synonyms
practice
Use synonyms
 is
also
Linking Words
 important as a big prize is linked to it. We are left with only 15 days before the competition, and I confirmed with the Secretary that Wednesday and Saturday afternoon slots are free. It can work for us, You can provide us with 12:00pm - 3:00 pm Wednesday and Saturday schedule. Looking for your response at the earliest possible time. Yours Faithfully, Kanwalpreet

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence and cohesion
Consider adding a brief introduction that outlines the purpose of your letter more clearly before diving into details.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear focus and that all points are relevant to the letter's purpose, to improve the development of single ideas.
task achievement
While your tone is generally suitable, a slightly more formal tone could enhance your request and convey professionalism.
task achievement
You have effectively identified the impact of music practice on community spirit and engagement, which strengthens your argument.
coherence and cohesion
Your letter maintains a clear structure with a greeting and closing, which is commendable for effective communication.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: