These days, in some countries, an increasing number of young adults are choosing to spend their whole weekend inside their own homes Why do you think this is happening? Is this a positive or negative development?

From my perspective, there are many reasons for

this

Linking Words

phenonmenon

Correct your spelling

phenomenon

but it is not a totally recommended option to stay

indoor

Correct your spelling

indoors

show examples

throughout the whole weekend.

One

Correct your spelling

show examples

the one hand, the first

reasonale

Correct your spelling

reasonable

reason

should be that, after a week of studying or working, they are in need of some

time

Use synonyms

to replenish themselves.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, these youngsters spend a large proportion of

leisure

Correct pronoun usage

their leisure

show examples

time

Use synonyms

with

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

mobile phones or computer games which consume their

time

Use synonyms

without being noticed.

As a result

Linking Words

besides

Linking Words

time

Use synonyms

wasted, their eyesight can possibly be impaired and obesity can

also

Linking Words

Add a missing verb

be a

show examples

haunting headache for those stationed for

prolong

Wrong verb form

prolonged

show examples

time

Use synonyms

. What is more, going out themselves or with friends could be very costly as daily living

expense

Fix the agreement mistake

expenses

show examples

soaring up

Wrong verb form

soar

show examples

at an astonishing rate which could be a financial burden. The

above mentioned

Add a hyphen

above-mentioned

show examples

factors mainly contribute to their reluctance to step out of their rooms. Personally, I don't

thinkg

Correct your spelling

think

it is

benifitial

Correct your spelling

beneficial

for

such

Linking Words

energetic people to shelter themselves from the wonderful world where they could have experienced

colorful

Change the spelling

colourful

show examples

life, greatly enhancing

emotional

Correct pronoun usage

their emotional

show examples

quality.

On the contrary

Linking Words

, to facilitate personal development, persons at

such

Linking Words

age could leave their

confort

Correct your spelling

comfort

zone instantly and participate in outdoor physical exercise to strengthen health. If not, their health indicators,

such

Linking Words

overweight

Add a missing verb

being overweight

show examples

, can send signals of alarm.

Then

Linking Words

, not meeting relatives and close friends for a long period could

also

Linking Words

result in

reduction

Add an article

a reduction

the reduction

show examples

of interpersonal communication skills.

Instead

Linking Words

, keeping more intimate

relationship

Fix the agreement mistake

relationships

show examples

could be of significance because personal interaction could

also

Linking Words

maintain psychological balance and mental peace. How necessary it is to

stepping

Change the verb

step

show examples

out of

room

Correct article usage

the room

show examples

! In conclusion,

young

Correct article usage

the young

show examples

generation

prefer

Change the verb form

prefers

show examples

to keep

themselve

Correct your spelling

themselves

indoors at

weekend

Correct article usage

the weekend

show examples

because of

Change preposition

show examples

rest,

playing

Wrong verb form

play

show examples

games and avoidance of living

expense

Fix the agreement mistake

expenses

show examples

However

Linking Words

, it is of no

benifit

Correct your spelling

benefit

to remain in

room

Add an article

the room

a room

show examples

because they lose the opportunities to do exercise and make friends.

asllchkied

Apr 2, 2025

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task achievement

Ensure that your points are clearly articulated and supported with more detailed examples to enhance clarity and depth.

coherence cohesion

Try to improve the logical flow between your paragraphs, ensuring that each section of your essay is directly related to your thesis statement.

coherence cohesion

Pay attention to spelling and grammar errors, as these can distract from your overall message and may impact the reader’s comprehension.

task achievement

You have addressed both sides of the issue, discussing reasons for staying indoors as well as the potential negative impacts of such behavior.

coherence cohesion

Your conclusion effectively sums up your arguments, providing a clear stance on the topic.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
30
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

307 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

social isolation
economic factors
streaming services
digital interaction
solitary activities
cost of living
health concerns
urban lifestyle
entertainment options
safety measures
home-based gatherings
digital natives

What to do next:

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These days, in some countries, an increasing number of young adults are choosing to spend their whole weekend inside their own homes Why do you think this is happening? Is this a positive or negative development?

Some people say that the government should spend more money taking care of elderly people while others think that government spending should be spent more on the education of young people. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

You have just bought some clothing online and you are not satisfied with your purchase. Write a letter to the company that you bought the cloth from. In your email Give details of the purchase Describe the problem Explain why you need a replacement urgently

Some university students want to learn about other subject in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studing for a qualification. Discuss both these views and give youn own opinion.

You are the manager of a restaurant that has received a letter of complaint about poor service from a member of your staff. Write a letter of apology to the person who has complained. In your letter:

Some people believe that in the near future there will be no borders between countries, while others feel that national borders will always remain. Discuss both views and give your own opinion