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Band 6.5

Some people say that television should be mainly used to educate and inform viewers, while others believe it should be used for entertainment. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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Television
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 plays a significant role in people’s lives, serving both educational and
entertainment
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 purposes.
While
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 some believe it should primarily be a tool for learning and informing the public, others argue that its main function should be
entertainment
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.
Although
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television
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 can be a valuable source of knowledge, I believe it should primarily remain a medium for relaxation and leisure. On the one hand,
television
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 can serve as a powerful educational tool, benefiting individuals of all ages. Stay-at-home parents,
for example
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, can develop new skills through instructional
programs
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,
while
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 children can learn fundamental concepts
such
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 as language and mathematics. Many educational channels cater to different age groups, from animated
programs
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 that teach toddlers the alphabet to historical documentaries that help adults expand their knowledge.
Additionally
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, elderly individuals can stay informed through news channels and cultural
programs
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, fostering lifelong learning.
Thus
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,
television
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, when used for education, can significantly contribute to intellectual development.
On the other hand
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,
television
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 is widely regarded as a source of
entertainment
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, and for good reason. After a long and exhausting day at work or school, many individuals seek relaxation through their
favorite
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favourite
show examples
 shows, movies, or sports
programs
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. Watching
television
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 as a family can
also
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 strengthen relationships, as shared
entertainment
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 fosters discussions and bonding.
Moreover
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, for those who live alone, engaging content can provide companionship and alleviate loneliness.
Entertainment
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 plays a crucial role in mental well-being, offering an escape from the pressures of daily life. In conclusion,
while
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television
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 has undeniable educational benefits, its primary function should remain
entertainment
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. In today’s fast-paced world, people need an outlet to unwind, and
television
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 serves as an effective means of relaxation and enjoyment.
However
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, a balanced approach, where both education and
entertainment
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 coexist, would be the most beneficial way to maximize
television
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’s potential.

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task achievement
While your arguments are clear, consider adding more specific examples to strengthen your ideas further, particularly in the education section.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure each paragraph clearly links back to your main thesis to enhance overall coherence. A few phrases or connectors could help guide the reader.
task achievement
You have presented both sides of the argument effectively, showing a well-rounded understanding of the topic.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay is logically structured with clear paragraphs and a strong introduction and conclusion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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