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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graphs below show the total percentage of films released and the total percentage of ticket sales in 1996 and 2006 in a country. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant

The graphs below show the total percentage of films released and the total percentage of ticket sales in 1996 and 2006 in a country. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant
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The bar charts illustrate the proportion of
movies
Use synonyms
production
Replace the word
produced
show examples
 and released ,
as well as
Linking Words
 the proportion of cinema
ticket
Use synonyms
sales
Use synonyms
 in two periods 1996 and 2006. From an
overall
Linking Words
 perspective ,it is readily apparent that drama
Use synonyms
movies
Change the noun form
movie
show examples
 production is the highest in 1996 and 2006 .The comedy films
consider
Wrong verb form
are considered
show examples
 the
most high
Change the adjective
highest
show examples
sales
Use synonyms
between
Change preposition
among
show examples
 the four groups in the
giving
Change the form of the verb
given
show examples
 two periods .The lowest
froup
Correct your spelling
group
show examples
 in
move
Correct your spelling
movie
show examples
 production was
romance
Use synonyms
movie
Fix the agreement mistake
movies
show examples
 and almost the same regarding
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
ticket
Use synonyms
sales
Use synonyms
 . Regarding the percentages of
film
Fix the agreement mistake
films
show examples
releasing
Wrong verb form
released
show examples
 in the four groups, in the first
place
Use synonyms
 is for drama
movies
Use synonyms
 by almost 26 % and 35% , in 1996 and 2006,
respectivelly
Correct your spelling
respectively
. Comedy
movies
Use synonyms
in
Add a missing verb
were in
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
second
place
Use synonyms
 by 20% in 1996 to show an upward trend in 2006 and become 25%. The third
place
Use synonyms
 for fantasy
movies
Use synonyms
 with almost 3 % increase from 1996 til 2006. The
last
Linking Words
place
Use synonyms
 was for
Romance
Use synonyms
movies
Use synonyms
 with equal
perentages
Correct your spelling
percentages
 almost 7% in both years. The percentages of
ticket
Use synonyms
sales
Use synonyms
 were significantly high in comedy
movies
Use synonyms
 compared with the other groups from 20% in 1996 to almost 25 % in 2006.Drama
movies
Use synonyms
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 the second highest in
ticket
Use synonyms
sales
Use synonyms
 with
2
Correct article usage
a 2
show examples
%
different
Replace the word
difference
show examples
 increasing from 1996 to 2006. fantasy and
romance
Use synonyms
 in 1996 were 3% and 5% ,respectively,
while
Linking Words
 in 2006 fantasy increased by 3% and
romance
Use synonyms
dcreased
Correct your spelling
decreased
increased
 by almost 4%.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words movies, ticket, sales, romance, place with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentages" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 6 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • depict
  • significant increases/decreases
  • highlighting
  • drawing comparisons
  • discrepancies
  • notable trends
  • unexpected findings
  • anomalies
  • phenomenon
  • emphasizing
  • evolution
  • implications
  • producers
  • distributors
  • audiences
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