Most modern family have both parents working and as a result children spend less and less time with their parents. What is the reason for this? What problem can this cause?

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There is no denying the fact that many

families

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this

Linking Words

day and age have both

parents

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working.

This

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development

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have

Change the verb form

has

show examples

led to many youngsters

unable

Add a missing verb

being unable

show examples

to spend quality

time

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and interact with their

families

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While

Linking Words

there are many reasons for

this

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mainly the high

cost

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of living, there have been many causes that

comes

Correct subject-verb agreement

come

show examples

with

this

Linking Words

issues

Fix the agreement mistake

issue

show examples

. In

this

Linking Words

essay

Add a comma

essay,

show examples

I will be

dicussing

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discussing

the reasons and causes for these issues. To start with, the most prominent reason is the high

cost

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of living. Life

have

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has

show examples

dramatically changed with the

raise

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rise

show examples

of the

industrial revolution

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Industrial Revolution

show examples

. Many

families

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would not be able to survive with a

single parent

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single-parent

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income.

For instance

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, many jobs

where

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were

show examples

introducduced

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introduced

for women in various sectors like packaging and cleaning industries.

This

Linking Words

happened to ease the burden on

families

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with minimal wages and rather encourage them to enhance

Remove the article

apply

show examples

better life quality. The more the work available to the community the more prepared

people

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are to the increased

cost

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of life expenses.

Interms

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In terms

of the causes, there are mainly two important contributors to

this

Linking Words

problem:

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development

Correct article usage

the development

show examples

of anti-social habits and overdependence on

gadages

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garages

gadgets

compenate

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compensate

this

Linking Words

time

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with.

Firstly

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, as

children

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develop the presence of their

parents

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is essential in their

upbring

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upbringing

show examples

Children

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learn by observing their

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parents

Change to a genitive case

parent's

parents'

show examples

ways of handling things around the house.

For example

Linking Words

, many elementary school

children

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are found to speak and write in the same manner as their

parents

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does

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show examples

This

Linking Words

extents

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extends

show examples

to how their

parents

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communicate with other

people

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and even

neigbours

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neighbours

and others within their community. So the less

time

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parents

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spend

time

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with their

children

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the less social skills the child gets to learn

makiing

Correct your spelling

making

them unaware of social interactions with

people

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around them.

Secondly

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, the

time

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spend

Change the form of the verb

spent

show examples

away from their

parents

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is usually compensated by playing online games or even

spends

Wrong verb form

spending

show examples

hours on social media platforms where many different types of

people

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are found. They become overdependent and rather trust the different trends on social media that might actually have a

deterimental

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detrimental

effect on their behaviour and contact later in

time

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. Many cases of depression have been reported among

children

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in elementary school which could be easily corrected by encouraging

children

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incooporate

Correct your spelling

incorporate

in more outdoor activities that

helps

Correct subject-verb agreement

help

show examples

in their physical and cognitive

development

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. In conclusion, the high

cost

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of living is the main reason for

families

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to spend less

time

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together. And

this

Linking Words

consequently

Linking Words

leads to issues in

children

Use synonyms

that can cause

Use synonyms

development

Add an article

the development

show examples

of anti-social habits and overdependence on

gadages

Correct your spelling

garages

gadgets

compenate

Correct your spelling

compensate

the

Change preposition

for the

show examples

time

Use synonyms

spend

Wrong verb form

spent

show examples

away from their

parents

Use synonyms

dr.waffa1459Wed Apr 02 2025

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task achievement

The essay presents relevant ideas but could have more clearly defined arguments and supporting evidence. Ensure that each paragraph clearly addresses the question and fully develops the ideas.

coherence and cohesion

Check for grammatical errors and revise sentences for clarity. For instance, use "have led" instead of "have led to"; also revise for consistent verb tenses.

coherence and cohesion

Improve transitions between ideas to enhance the flow of your argument. Using linking phrases can help guide the reader more smoothly through your points.

task achievement

The introduction clearly identifies the main issue and outlines the direction of the essay. The acknowledgment of both reasons and consequences is commendable.

task achievement

Some relevant examples are used to illustrate points, which helps to support the arguments presented.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
7
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
33
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

424 words

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Most modern family have both parents working and as a result children spend less and less time with their parents. What is the reason for this? What problem can this cause?

Fully explain your ideas

Some people think the main purpose of education is to make individuals useful to society; others say education helps them to achieve personal ambitions. Discuss both views and fiver your opinion.

Some people believe that children should spend all of their free time with their families. Others believe that this is unnecessary or even negative. Discuss the possible arguments on both sides, and say which side you personally support.

computers are becoming an essential part of school. what is the advantage and disadvantage? what is your opinion?

These days in many countries, fewer and fewer people want to become teachers, particularly in secondary schools. What are the reasons for this, and how could the problem be solved? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.