IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

In the future, nobody will buy printed newspapers or books because they will be able to read everything they want online without paying. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

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It is argued that nowadays individuals prefer to read and watch online
news
Use synonyms
instead
Linking Words
 of purchasing
newspapers
Use synonyms
 in the form of hardcopy. I totally agree with
this
Linking Words
 viewpoint since
Use synonyms
Internet
Add an article
the Internet
show examples
 is more informative, cost-efficient, reliable and entertaining are major reasons of prevent people from reading physical copies of the
news
Use synonyms
. To commence with, the vast use of
Use synonyms
Internet
Add an article
the Internet
show examples
 provides
news
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 in an easy manner. Not only does watching
news
Use synonyms
 online save time, but
also
Linking Words
 provides detailed information by doing searches. To exemplify
this
Linking Words
, the advent of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
mobile phones and the
internet
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,
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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makes
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
life far
easy
Correct word choice
easier
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 for human beings as they do not need to carry
newspapers
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 with them,
cellphone
Fix the agreement mistake
Cellphones
show examples
 provide mostly ins and outs of daily updates with one click.
Moreover
Linking Words
, online
news
Use synonyms
 accumulates more entertainment as compared to offline.
In addition
Linking Words
 to
this
Linking Words
, it contains videos and podcasts on daily updates which create interest in people,
however
Linking Words
, physical
newspapers
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 have only limited written content by editors.
For instance
Linking Words
, the masses can see some flashbacks broadcast on tidings channels which directly provide a clear image in front of society rather than reading paperback content. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 it is true that physical
newspapers
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 have their own ample benefits,
due to
Linking Words
 the boon of the
internet
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 and technological gadgets online
report
Fix the agreement mistake
reports
show examples
regarded
Add a missing verb
are regarded
show examples
 as more cheaper, more informative, entertaining, and time-saving
option
Fix the agreement mistake
options
show examples
.

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Task Response
Try to provide a clearer position in your introduction by clearly stating your agreement or disagreement without ambiguity. For example, instead of 'I totally agree with this viewpoint,' you could explicitly state your reasons immediately.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single main idea that is clearly linked to your thesis statement, and use transition words to enhance the flow of your ideas. For instance, phrases such as 'Furthermore,' or 'In addition,' could help you connect points more smoothly.
Coherence and Cohesion
Make sure to check your grammar, especially when constructing sentences. For example, 'Internet is more informative, cost-efficient, reliable and entertaining are major reasons...' can be revised for clarity. Consider 'The internet is more informative, cost-efficient, reliable, and entertaining, which are major reasons...'
Task Response
Your essay presents a clear perspective and acknowledges the existence of both sides of the argument, which enriches the discussion.
Task Response
You make good use of examples to support your claims, such as the mention of mobile phones and podcasts, which illustrates your points effectively.
Coherence and Cohesion
The structure of your essay is generally well organized with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which aids readability.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • accessibility
  • convenience
  • cost-effective
  • cultural value
  • sentimental value
  • reliability
  • distracting
  • access to
  • digital devices
  • internet
What to do next:
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