IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some organisations believe that their employees should dress smartly. Others value quality of work above appearance. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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The debate over whether
employees
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 should
dress
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 smartly or if the quality of their
work
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 should take precedence remains a contentious issue in many organisations.
While
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 some
companies
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 insist on professional
attire
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 to uphold a certain image, others prioritise productivity and performance over appearance.
This
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 essay will examine both viewpoints before presenting my own perspective. On the one hand, organisations that advocate for formal
dress
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 codes believe that appearance plays a crucial role in shaping a company’s image. A well-dressed workforce projects professionalism, instilling confidence in clients and business partners.
For instance
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, in industries like banking, law, and corporate consulting, smart
attire
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 reinforces credibility and authority.
Additionally
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, adhering to a formal
dress
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 code can promote discipline and a sense of belonging among
employees
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, fostering a professional
work
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 environment.
On the other hand
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, some argue that
work
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 quality should be the primary concern, rather than how
employees
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dress
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. In modern workplaces, especially in creative industries and tech
companies
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, casual
attire
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 is often encouraged to enhance comfort and productivity.
Employees
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 who feel at ease in their clothing may focus better on tasks rather than conforming to rigid
dress
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 codes.
Furthermore
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, performance and skills ultimately determine a company’s success, making an appearance a secondary concern.
For example
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,
companies
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 like Google and Facebook embrace a relaxed
dress
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 culture
while
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 maintaining high levels of innovation and efficiency. In my opinion,
while
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 professional
attire
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 is important in client-facing roles,
companies
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 should adopt a flexible approach. A strict
dress
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 code may be necessary in traditional sectors, but in creative and tech-driven industries, comfort and
work
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 quality should take precedence. Striking a balance between professionalism and practicality allows
employees
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 to perform optimally
while
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 maintaining a positive company image.

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task achievement
Consider providing a more nuanced exploration of each viewpoint by incorporating additional specific examples or case studies to strengthen your arguments.
coherence and cohesion
To improve coherence, ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next. Some connections can be made more explicit for better flow. For example, using phrases like 'In contrast to this...' or 'Moreover...' may enhance the linkage between points.
task achievement
The essay presents a balanced discussion of both viewpoints, which is commendable for addressing the task effectively.
task achievement
Good use of examples to support your arguments, especially in clarifying the relevance of different dress codes in particular industries.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • professionalism
  • first impression
  • competent
  • dedicated
  • organizational culture
  • teamwork
  • creativity
  • productivity
  • dress code
  • comfort
  • individuality
  • job satisfaction
  • client-facing
  • nature of the job
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