IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

The graph shows the income of four cafes in New York over the last year. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparison where relevant.

The graph shows the income of four cafes in New York over the last year. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparison where relevant.
The given graph depicts the turnover of four coffee shops in New York in the
last
Linking Words
 year.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be clearly seen that there was an upward trend in the amount of money that Internet Express, wifi cafes, and
Cafe
Use synonyms
 Cool received in a year
while
Linking Words
 the tea room witnessed a contrasting movement over the given period. Looking at the graph from a more detailed perspective, In January, the tea room's revenue started at 160
thousand
Use synonyms
dollars
Use synonyms
, and after a slight drop in the following month, it reached its peak at 180
thousand
Use synonyms
dollars
Use synonyms
, which was the largest amount of money earned in the chart.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the tea room experienced a fluctuation in 5
months
Use synonyms
 before witnessing a remarkable fall in October from 140 to 50
thousand
Use synonyms
dollars
Use synonyms
 over the
last
Linking Words
 3
months
Use synonyms
. Regarding
internet express
Correct your spelling
Internet Express
show examples
, there was a slight drop from 100 to 80
thousand
Use synonyms
dollars
Use synonyms
 in April before it witnessed a period of stability in the next 4
months
Use synonyms
,
then
Linking Words
 it rose gradually by 60
thousand
Use synonyms
dollars
Use synonyms
 from July to December. With Wifi
cafe
Use synonyms
 and
cafe
Use synonyms
 cool, they saw a similar trend over the twelve
months
Use synonyms
. Starting with
cafe
Use synonyms
 cool,
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
saw a fluctuation from 30 to 60
thousand
Use synonyms
dollars
Use synonyms
 in eleven
months
Use synonyms
 before soaring to 120 in December. In terms of wifi cafes, it climbed significantly by 50
thousand
Use synonyms
dollars
Use synonyms
 from January to July,
then
Linking Words
 there was a noticeable drop of 40,000 before skyrocketing to nearly 200,000 in the
last
Linking Words
 4
months
Use synonyms
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "last".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words cafe, thousand, dollars, months with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "express" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "drop" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "slight" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: