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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The charts below show the changes in the ownership of electrical appliances and amount of the time spent doing housework in households in one country between 1920 and 2019.

The charts below show the changes in the ownership of electrical appliances and amount of the time spent doing housework in households in one country between 1920 and 2019.
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The chart illustrates the correlation
betweent
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between
 the ownership of electrical appliances and the
number
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 of
hours
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 spent doing housework in one particular country from 1920 to 2019. Units are measured in percentages and
hours
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.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be seen that the
number
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 of electrical
divices
Correct your spelling
devices
 increased significantly over the given period. Meanwhile,
amount
Correct article usage
the amount
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 of time which people spent on housework per household decreased dramatically.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, it can be observed that in 1920 nobody used
refrigerator
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refrigerators
show examples
, after that their ubiquitousness rose considerably and in 1960 approximately 90% of households had
this
Linking Words
 appliance, before reaching a
pick
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peak
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 at 100% in 1980.
Likewise
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, the
number
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 of vacuum cleaners increased greatly and reached 100% in 2000. With regard to
washing
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the washing
a washing
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machine
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machines
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, at the start around 40% of
Add an article
the household
show examples
household
Fix the agreement mistake
households
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 had
this
Linking Words
 device,
then
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 figure fluctuated slightly and ,by the end,
this
Linking Words
 rate accounted for about 75%.
According to
Linking Words
 the chart, the
number
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 of
hours
Use synonyms
 of housework per week stood up
50
Change preposition
at 50
show examples
hours
Use synonyms
 in 1920 and
then
Linking Words
 plunged to approximately 10
hours
Use synonyms
 in 2010.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words number, hours with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • ownership
  • electrical appliances
  • housework
  • time frame
  • variables
  • trends
  • significant milestones
  • turning points
  • correlation
  • reduction
  • influenced
  • societal implications
  • quality of life
  • gender roles
  • economic implications
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