Doing an enjoyable activity with a child can develop better skills and imagination than reading. To what extent do you agree? Use reasons and specific examples to explain your answer.

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Childhood is one of the most important periods of human life. In brief, it is very important that parents how
treat
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to treat
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their
children
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in
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at
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this
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time. I agree that treating
children
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with
enjoyabe
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enjoyable
actions and games can upgrade their sense of
creativity
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, stronger abilities and
imagination
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.
Thus
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,
in
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on
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one
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the one
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hand interesting
activites
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activities
can
firstly
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, make the
child
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's
mind
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free of probable difficulties, and
in
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on
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the other hand,
kids
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can learn more complex tasks through gaming. Funny
activities
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will remove all of the bad scenes from
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child's
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the child's
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mind
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.
For instance
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, when a kid is playing a video game,
this
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can make their
mind
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free of the real world.
Accordingly
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, statistics show that
the
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apply
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kids
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which
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who
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are less engaged with
real world's
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real-world's
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difficulties
,
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apply
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are more creative.
Thus
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, making a happier
life style
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lifestyle
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for
children
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by delighting works,
cause
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causes
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a better
creativity
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status for them, and will help them to release their
imagination
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. Alternatively, gathered data shows that the more parents use games and funny
activities
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to teach their
children
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, the more the
kids
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better understand the lessons.
For example
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, if a 3-year-old
child
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start
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starts
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to learn a foreign language with video games and cartoons, he will learn it without any class after some
times
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time
show examples
.
Furthermore
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, scientific
documentations
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documentation
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are stating
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states
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that
,
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apply
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playing and having fun in line with learning, cause extraordinary effects on
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mind
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the mind
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,
thus
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,
children
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can learn them
easier
Rephrase
more easily
show examples
. In brief, an enjoyable activity should be considered
while
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children
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are learning,
also
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, if they learn better and more, their
imagination
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and
creativity
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will be developed.
To sum up
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, enjoyable
activities
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can cause
child
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's
mind
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growth,
additionally
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,
it
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they
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can free their minds
out
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apply
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of
real world
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real-world
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problems, and
also
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, help them to learn their lessons and solve problems easier and better. I
also
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agree
to
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with
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the opinion
in
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apply
show examples
wich
Correct your spelling
which
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encourages parents to do enjoyable
works
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work
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, for growing their
kid
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kids
show examples
creativity
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and
imagination
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.
Overall
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, it is better for adults to have a balance between reading books and developing their
kids
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with funny things, but it is significant that the proportion of enjoyable
activities
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should be more than others.

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task achievement
Make sure to clarify your main points more distinctly in your thesis statement.
coherence and cohesion
Use clearer linking phrases to improve the flow of ideas between sentences and paragraphs.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to effectively support your arguments throughout the essay.
coherence and cohesion
Double-check your grammar and spelling for minor errors to enhance readability.
task achievement
Good effort in addressing the topic, and thoughtful points regarding the benefits of enjoyable activities.
coherence and cohesion
You’ve made a commendable attempt to connect ideas and maintain a cohesive argument.
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