IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

In the last decade, there has been a great increase in global air travel. What do you think are the reasons for this and do you think it is a good thing? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience.

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Over the past ten years, air
travel
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 has risen significantly
due to
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 low cost, airline budgets and the growing need for international
travel
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 for work, education and
tourism
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.
While
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 it has positive and negative effects , I believe that it is largely beneficial. The primary reason behind
this
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 rise is affordability. At present, many airlines provide competitive prices that everyone can afford.
Secondly
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, time efficient,
travel
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 by plane saves
people
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 time and energy.
For instance
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, as compared to the train or other modes of transport it is a quick way of travelling.
Furthermore
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, for education, there are increased demand for studying abroad which imparted new experiences and cultural diversity. Many
people
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 choose travelling for personal experience and happiness. Another noticeable factor is
tourism
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, many Governments promote their countries' tourist destinations to boost the economy and improve infrastructure.
Moreover
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, social media
also
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 play a crucial role in promoting
tourism
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, influences on social sites portray exotic holidays and for many
people
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 exploring different locations has new possessions over material possessions.
For example
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, before planning a vacation,
people
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 search on Instagram for different locations and select from there by seeing other photos. Despite some concerns
such
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 as environmental impact, its benefits outweigh the drawbacks. It increased the country's economy and cultural exchange. Rise in the number of jobs in
tourism
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 and aviation. Government investing in greener technology. reduced carbon emissions and fuel-efficient aircraft to mitigate the damage. In conclusion, air
travel
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 has driven the cultural exchange, globalisation and availability of jobs.
Although
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, environmental concerns exist.
Overall
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, its benefits surpass the demerits as it connects
people
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 all over the world.

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Coherence and Cohesion
Try to provide a clearer introduction that outlines the main points you will discuss in the essay. This will guide the reader more effectively through your argument.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that indicates the main idea of the paragraph. This will help strengthen your logical structure and improve clarity.
Task Achievement
Expand on your ideas with more specific examples and explanations to enrich your discussion and provide a deeper understanding of your points.
Grammar and Language
Make sure to proofread your essay for grammatical accuracy and cohesive devices, as there were minor errors that could be improved for a more polished presentation.
Task Achievement
Your essay demonstrates a clear understanding of the topic and presents a balanced view regarding the benefits and drawbacks of increased air travel.
Coherence and Cohesion
The structure of your essay is logical, with distinct paragraphs addressing different aspects of air travel, which aids in coherence.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Economic growth
  • Disposable income
  • Aviation technology
  • Efficient
  • Proliferation
  • Budget airlines
  • Globalization
  • Tourism
  • Social media
  • Promotional activities
  • Economic development
  • Cultural exchange
  • Environmental impact
  • Carbon emissions
  • Climate change
  • Over-tourism
  • Local resources
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