IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Access to clean water is a basic human right. Therefore, every home should have a water supply that is provided free of charge. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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Nowadays,
people
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 believe that if they can access clean
water
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 free of charge, it will definitely help improve their lives because it is a basic human need.
Therefore
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, many
people
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 argue that a clean
water
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 supply, which is essential for human well-being, should be provided by the
government
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. I completely agree with
this
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 view because if the
government
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 can provide
water
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 connections without any cost,
people
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 will gain financial benefits that can help reduce their stress levels.
Furthermore
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, the use of unhygienic
water
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 can be prevented, so that
people
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's
health
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conditions
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 can be improved.
Firstly
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, citizens' living
expenses
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 have increased significantly in recent years. If the
government
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 provides
water
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 free of charge,
people
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 will have additional financial benefits, which can improve their economic
conditions
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.
Consequently
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,
people
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's stress levels can be reduced when their financial situations improve.
For example
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, Japanese scientists who conducted research found that
although
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 governments have many
expenses
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,
such
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 as education and healthcare, clean
water
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 should still be supplied without charge because it improves
people
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's living
conditions
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.
Moreover
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, when
people
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 do not have access to clean
water
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, their
health
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conditions
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 can be negatively affected because unhygienic
water
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 may be used.
However
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, if the
government
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 provides proper
water
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 connections without considering the cost,
people
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's
health
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conditions
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 can improve
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 serious diseases can be prevented.
Subsequently
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, national healthcare
expenses
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 can be reduced.
For instance
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, many African countries face serious
health
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 problems because clean
water
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 is not available to all residents. The World
Health
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Organization
Change the spelling
Organisation
show examples
 recommends that if African governments provide clean
water
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 supplies, these
health
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-related issues can be significantly reduced. In conclusion,
although
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 governments have many
expenses
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, they should provide proper
water
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 connections because clean
water
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 is an essential necessity. If
people
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 receive
this
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 benefit, their economic
conditions
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 can improve so that they can spend more money on other important needs,
such
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 as
health
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 and education.
In addition
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, their
health
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conditions
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 can be improved through the use of clean
water
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, which can contribute to a better quality of life.

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task response
Make your main idea more direct in each body paragraph.
task response
Use examples that feel more real and more exact.
task response
Add one short point about a possible problem, then answer it.
coherence and cohesion
Link some ideas in a simpler and smoother way.
coherence and cohesion
Do not repeat the same words too much, like health conditions and improve.
coherence and cohesion
Make topic sentences shorter and clearer.
task response
You answer the question clearly and your opinion is strong from the start.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear intro, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Each body paragraph stays on one main idea.
task response
Your examples match your ideas and support your answer.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • basic
  • human
  • right
  • water
  • supply
  • provided
  • free
  • charge
  • agree
  • disagree
  • health
  • essential
  • sick
  • diseases
  • supports
  • education
  • children
  • focus
  • learning
  • searching
  • better
  • futures
  • reduce
  • poverty
  • families
  • save
  • money
  • spend
  • important
  • needs
  • promote
  • equality
  • chance
  • access
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