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Writing Samples
Band 6

The diagram below shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugar cane. summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main featuresm and make comparisons where relevant

The diagram below shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugar cane. summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main featuresm and make comparisons where relevant
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The diagram below displays the transformation of
turning
Verb problem
apply
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sugar
Use synonyms
to
Change preposition
into
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a
Correct article usage
apply
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sugar
Use synonyms
cane
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 through the manufacturing
process
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.
Overall
Linking Words
, the
sugar
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cane
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 goes through several processes
from
Change preposition
with
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 the help of
Use synonyms
machine
Fix the agreement mistake
machines
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 and
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
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, consisting of 3 main stages: harvesting, crushing and separating to become
sugar
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. To start,
sugar
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 canes that have grown over 12 to 18 months will be harvested with two different processes:
machine
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 and manual
process
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. The
sugar
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cane
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that is
Linking Words
 harvested through a
machine
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 will be cropped using a tractor and
then
Linking Words
 collected using a vehicle,
while
Linking Words
 a manual
process
Use synonyms
 will be harvested by a farmer who will crop the
sugar
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cane
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 with a scythe. After the
sugar
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 can is harvested, it will
then
Linking Words
 move to a crushing
process
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 using a
machine
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 to create a juice. All the juice
then
Linking Words
 will proceed to
Correct article usage
the separating
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separating
Change the verb form
separate
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 processes. The juice will be purified using a limestone filter and heated using an evaporator,
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
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 will be transformed into syrup. Once the syrup is produced, it will go through a centrifuge
process
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 that will extract
sugar
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 crystals from syrup, before it ends with drying and cooling the
sugar
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.

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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 70%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words sugar, cane, process, machine with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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