IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customer travels to large shopping center and mall to do shopping. Is it a positive or negative development?

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In recent years, many small local
shops
Use synonyms
 have shut down as consumers increasingly prefer to shop at large
malls
Use synonyms
 and shopping centres.
While
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this
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 trend may have some advantages, I believe it is largely a negative development, especially for small businesses and local economies. On the one hand, shopping
malls
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 offer a wide variety of products and services under one roof, which is highly convenient for consumers. People can save time by purchasing different items in a single location, from groceries and clothing to electronics and entertainment.
In addition
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, large retailers often offer lower prices and frequent discounts
due to
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 their scale, attracting more customers.
On the other hand
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,
this
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 shift in consumer behaviour has serious drawbacks. The closure of local
shops
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 reduces income opportunities for small business owners, many of whom rely entirely on their stores to support their families. These
shops
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 often provide personalised services and unique products that large
malls
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 cannot. Their disappearance contributes to a loss of community character and identity.
Furthermore
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, as profits concentrate
in
Change preposition
on
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 big businesses, wealth inequality can grow, damaging local economies in the long term.
Although
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 shopping
malls
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 offer comfort and variety, the consequences for local communities are concerning. In rural areas, small
shops
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 may still survive
due to
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 limited access to
malls
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, but in cities, the competition is often overwhelming. In conclusion,
while
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 large shopping centres provide convenience, the negative effects on small local businesses and communities make
this
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 trend more harmful than beneficial.

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task achievement
Expand on specific examples to support arguments, particularly regarding the impact of small shops on community identity.
coherence and cohesion
Consider using linking words or phrases more effectively to improve the flow between paragraphs and enhance cohesion.
coherence and cohesion
Clear introduction outlining your viewpoint and well-structured body paragraphs.
task achievement
Balanced view of advantages and disadvantages of shopping malls.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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