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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

The quality of education provided, is influenced by many factors which can enhance the quality of it. While some individuals believe that the increment in the stipend provided to the educators could motivate them to provide a better education, others contradict that there are other multiple factors that are involved in this situation which needs to be paid enough attention. In this essay, I'll discuss both these opposing views while providing examples and will state my opinion on this matter.

The quality of
education
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 in any country is shaped by various factors that influence how well
students
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 learn. Some people believe that increasing teachers’
salaries
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 is the most effective way to improve
education
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,
while
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 others argue that focusing on other areas can bring better results.
This
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 essay will discuss both perspectives and provide examples from my own knowledge and experience. Increasing teachers'
salaries
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 is often considered a key method to improve educational outcomes. Higher pay not only motivates teachers but
also
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 helps attract and retain highly qualified professionals.
For instance
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, in my country, private schools that offer better
salaries
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 often show higher academic performance among
students
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.
As a result
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,
students
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 benefit from more dedicated and experienced teachers, which enhances the
overall
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 learning process.
However
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, others believe that focusing only on
salaries
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 ignores other equally important educational reforms.
On the other hand
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, many argue that there are more effective ways to enhance the quality of
education
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 than simply increasing teachers’
salaries
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. One widely supported approach is investing in ongoing teacher training and professional development. Well-trained educators are more likely to use modern teaching techniques and adapt to different learning needs, which improves classroom effectiveness. Another valuable strategy is to improve school infrastructure and reduce class sizes. These measures create a more stimulating and supportive learning environment, helping
students
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 focus better and engage more deeply with their lessons. In conclusion, improving
education
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 quality requires a combination of approaches rather than relying solely on increasing teachers’
salaries
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.
While
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 higher pay can motivate educators and attract talent, investing in teacher training and better school facilities
also
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 plays a crucial role in creating a productive learning environment. Both strategies should be considered to ensure that
students
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 receive the best possible
education
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.

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coherence and cohesion
Make sure each paragraph clearly connects to the main idea of your essay. This will help with your logical flow.
task achievement
Add more specific examples to support your arguments. This can help make your points stronger.
coherence and cohesion
Consider using linking words more frequently to guide the reader through your essay. Words like 'however' and 'moreover' can improve your structure.
task achievement
The introduction clearly states the main topic and the two opposing views you will discuss.
task achievement
The conclusion effectively summarizes your main points and restates your opinion clearly.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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