IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Governments should s;pend money on railways rather than roads. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

Authorities should invest money
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 railroads rather than building roads. I personally agree with
this
Linking Words
 statement because it is
Correct article usage
an effecient
show examples
effecient
Correct your spelling
efficient
 way
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
transportation
Replace the word
transport
show examples
 for goods and
people
Use synonyms
, it will save
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
time
Use synonyms
 and sustain the environment.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, it has been known for decades the efficiency of
travilling
Correct your spelling
travelling
 inside the country from one place to another and to other countries
with
Change preposition
by
show examples
trains
Fix the agreement mistake
train
show examples
 because it is
significantlly
Correct your spelling
significantly
 more productive, not only for the passengers
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 but
also
Linking Words
 for goods and conducting
further
Linking Words
businseese
Correct your spelling
businesses
business
 to transfer
heavey
Correct your spelling
heavy
 and
great
Add an article
a great
the great
show examples
 amount of products.
For example
Linking Words
, in India, the majority of
people
Use synonyms
 use the rail on
daily
Correct article usage
a daily
show examples
 basis, for work, study and other purposes.
In contrast
Linking Words
, they will avoid the
tremendouse
Correct your spelling
tremendous
 amount of car prices and gaz\petrol functuation
due to
Linking Words
 bad economic.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, it is more
convenience
Replace the word
convenient
show examples
 to
getting
Wrong verb form
get
show examples
 to any
distination
Correct your spelling
destination
 using the rails, which will save
time
Use synonyms
, where it has become the sufficient way to travel, that will allow
individual
Add an article
an individual
the individual
show examples
 to have quality
time
Use synonyms
 with their families,
colleauges
Correct your spelling
colleagues
, and
practicing
Change the spelling
practising
show examples
 hobbies. In Japan
people
Use synonyms
 and even tourists
will
Verb problem
apply
show examples
prefere
Correct your spelling
prefer
 to use the railway for daily movement
insted
Correct your spelling
instead
 of
stucking
Verb problem
being stuck
show examples
 in congestion for an hour or more,
comparing
Wrong verb form
compared
show examples
 to a couple of minutes transporting by train
for example
Linking Words
.
Also
Linking Words
, considering the railways as the best way to save passengers their
time
Use synonyms
 and lower rate for the tickets, it is
significantlly
Correct your spelling
significantly
significant
,
efficientlly
Correct your spelling
efficiently
 and environmentally emitting the greenhouse
gaze
Correct your spelling
gasses
show examples
 in the ozone layer.
For example
Linking Words
, in
Qatar
Add a comma
Qatar,
show examples
 the
railroadsare
Correct your spelling
railroads are
railroads
 are operating with electricity to reduce the carbon
dioxcide
Correct your spelling
dioxide
 level, and the metro has been the only transportation for
people
Use synonyms
 during the Qatar World Cup 2022.
To Conclude
Linking Words
, I think that local
authority
Fix the agreement mistake
authorities
show examples
 should consider investing in constructing
railroad
Correct article usage
a railroad
show examples
 for the
benefits
Fix the agreement mistake
benefit
show examples
 of their
people
Use synonyms
 and sustaining the environment.

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Task Achievement
Ensure that the argument is clearly stated in the introduction and consistently developed throughout the essay.
Coherence and Cohesion
Make sure to have a clear progression of ideas between sentences and paragraphs to enhance coherence.
Overall Improvement
Seek to correct spelling and grammatical errors to increase clarity.
Task Achievement
You provided relevant examples to support your arguments, showing good knowledge of the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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