Doing an enjoyable activity with a child can develop better skills and more creativity than reading. To what extent do you agree? Use reasons and specific examples to explain your answer. IELTS Essay Sample Answer (1)

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It is argued that playing with children contributes more towards good skills rather than reading. As learning any new aspect is only gained by learning so, I partially agree with the given statement and shall discuss my views in upcoming paragraphs. On the one side, doing a memorable play with juveniles helps individuals develop their mental abilities
as well as
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relaxazation
Correct your spelling
relaxation
from anxiety.
For example
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, a
child
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child's
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mind is free from work pressure and he only
focusses
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focuses
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on winning the game anyway. So,
this
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can help in lessening problems and assist humans
focus
Verb problem
in focusing
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on daily
task
Fix the agreement mistake
tasks
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eagerly.
Moreover
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, some
youngones
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young ones
are gifted one that they start searching
their
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for their
show examples
own way to make a situation and
then
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play.
For instance
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, boys like to break driving toys and they remove motors from cars and start operating them in other ways.
Thus
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, it gives a chance for creative things by playing with them.
On the other hand
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, well reading provides aid in different aspects
such
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as someone who lost his communication or patience
he
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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or
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apply
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she
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apply
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can go for reading and
then
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improve skills in order to be better in lives, which are hard by just playing.
In addition
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to
this
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, to become successful in life, a person has to go
in
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through
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a number of steps by reading booking. Scientists to illustrate,
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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study a lot of material and implement some of
the
Change the word
their
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principles
of
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apply
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themselves
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apply
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or copy the ones that were already tried before.
Hence
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,
this
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skill makes them not to be creative but, to enjoy their passion.
To conclude
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, if someone is frustrated
from
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by
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live
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life
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obstacles
then
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he should try
by
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apply
show examples
playing with peers he can eliminate the troubles by playing but, to learn some new chapters in life reading has an edge over playing with children.

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task achievement
Try to clarify your main ideas and ensure they directly relate to the essay question. Make your stance clearer and stick to it throughout your essay.
coherence and cohesion
Work on using clearer transitions between sentences and paragraphs to help connect your ideas more smoothly.
task achievement
Consider adding more specific examples to strengthen your arguments. Concrete examples can help support your points more effectively.
task achievement
Your essay presents a balanced view on the topic, discussing both sides of the argument. This shows critical thinking skills.
task achievement
You have made an effort to include some examples to support your claims. This is a positive aspect of your writing.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Interactive engagement
  • Creative expression
  • Hands-on experience
  • Problem-solving skills
  • Cognitive development
  • Physical coordination
  • Social interaction
  • Empathy and communication
  • Strategic thinking
  • Teamwork skills
  • Imaginative play
  • Experiential learning
  • Collaboration
  • Creativity boost
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