Some people think all lawbreakers should be put into prison, while others believe that there are better alternatives. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

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Nowadays, It is argued by some people that any criminal
have
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has
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to be sent to jail when he or she commits a crime
while
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others believe that different measures should be used. In
this
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essay
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essay,
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I will look into both views and give my own opinion on the matter in detail. On the one hand, people in favour of sending offenders to
prison
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have valid reasons for that.
Firstly
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, it might be said that
,
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apply
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prison
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is
special
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a special
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facility that
urge
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urges
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criminals to understand and feel
results
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the results
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of their wrong actions.
In other words
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, restrictions, limitations and strict rules demotivate
law breakers
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lawbreakers
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to re-offend.
For example
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one of
the
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apply
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my relatives who served time in
prison
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does not want to go back there. After release he
choice
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chose
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life without a crime.
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Secondly
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Secondly,
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modern jails have training programs aimed at training inmates to acquire professions.
That is
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to say, they have a good opportunity to learn about
job
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jobs
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that will change their aims and outlook
while
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doing time behind bars. Take
a
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apply
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Japan as an example, in there,
according to
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statistics 60
percent
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per cent
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of inmates who have a good profession and diploma never commit a crime again.
On the other hand
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, there is an argument that criminals can
be rehabilitate
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be rehabilitated
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through other methods than sending them to
prison
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.
In other words
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,
instead
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of sentencing
criminal
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criminals
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to time in
prison
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, we should attract them
in
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to
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other useful works.
As a result
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, they work beneficially for society and feel important and useful to the general public.
As
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This
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this
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kind of
feelings
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feeling
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to urge
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urges
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people never
re-offend
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to re-offend
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when they are released. In conclusion,
although
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it is
common
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a common
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belief that
prison
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is the best way to punish criminals, I believe it is not necessary in
majority
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the majority
a majority
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of cases. Personally, I think
prison
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should be the
last
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option when all else has failed.

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coherence and cohesion
Make sure to use clearer topic sentences for each paragraph to guide the reader through your argumentation. This will enhance the overall structure of your essay.
task achievement
Try to develop your ideas further, providing more comprehensive examples or explanations to fully illustrate your points.
coherence and cohesion
Pay attention to grammatical accuracy and phrasing. For example, 'any criminal have' should be 'any criminal has' and 'in there' should be 'there'.
task achievement
You presented both sides of the argument well and expressed a clear opinion at the end of the essay, which is important for task achievement.
task achievement
Your use of examples, like the relative who served time, adds a personal touch and engages the reader, showing your effort to connect the ideas with real-life scenarios.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • lawbreakers
  • prison
  • alternatives
  • deterrence
  • rehabilitation
  • recidivism
  • overcrowding
  • financial strains
  • community service
  • vocational training
  • restorative justice
  • make amends
  • diversion programs
  • non-violent offenders
  • mental health problems
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