IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

All education and healthcare should be funded by the government and free for everyone. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

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Primarily, every citizen has the entitlement to attain universal access to academic and medical
facilities
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 because of paying reasonable taxes regardless of their socio-economic background. When citizens have free access to medical treatment and scholastic,it leads to a healthier population, innovation and a reduction in crimes. To make it more clear,in countries like Canada where these core services are free of cost , nations lie on top ranking of lower unlawful acts.
However
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,completely relying on
government
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 funds for these
facilities
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 would not be appropriate in developing countries as it can be a heavy burden on the
government
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 budget.
Moreover
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, There are numerous sectors which require continuous investment in infrastructure,technology and skilled professions to cater for the needs of the population.
Consequently
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, it would be a negative approach to the national budget
as well as
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 quality issues ranging from the educational to the healthcare sector. Practically, a more balanced system would be one in which essential education and basic healthcare are fully funded by the state for those people who live in poverty. At the same time , individuals who can afford it may contribute to the
government
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 by denying them free access to those
facilities
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. In conclusion,
Although
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 the
government
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 should provide basic needs for poverty-stricken populations, high-income earners can support the
government
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 by refusing to accessibility of free
facilities
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. By combining
government
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 support with individual contributions where appropriate, societies can ensure both fairness and efficiency in delivering these vital services.

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Task Achievement
Ensure that your introduction clearly presents your stance on the issue. This makes it easier for the reader to understand your viewpoint from the beginning.
Task Achievement
While you have provided some examples, more specific examples or data could strengthen your arguments and make them more persuasive.
Coherence and Cohesion
Consider using clearer topic sentences to guide the reader through each paragraph, reinforcing how each point relates to your main argument.
Coherence and Cohesion
Try to use a wider range of linking words and phrases to enhance the flow of your essay, which will help improve the overall coherence of your writing.
Content Understanding
You presented a clear understanding of the topic and provided arguments for both sides, demonstrating critical thinking.
Conclusion Quality
Your conclusion nicely summarizes your main points and reiterates your position, which is good practice.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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