IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The charts below show the changes in ownership of electrical appliances and amount of time spent doing housework in households in one country between 1920 and 2019. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The charts below show the changes in ownership of electrical appliances and amount of time spent doing housework in households in one country between 1920 and 2019. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The line graphs demonstrate two trends in one certain country from 1920 to 2019. One is the ownership of washing
Use synonyms
machine
Fix the agreement mistake
machines
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,
refrigeraotor
Correct your spelling
refrigerator
refrigerators
, and vacuum
cleaner
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cleaners
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. Another graph shows the differences
of
Change preposition
in
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 the number of
hours
Use synonyms
 spent on housework.
Overall
Linking Words
, refrigerators rose the most significantly in
Linking Words
this
Correct pronoun usage
these
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 nearly fifty years,
while
Linking Words
 the possession rate of washing
Use synonyms
machine
Fix the agreement mistake
machines
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 underwent little change. As for vacuum cleaners, it went through a mild increase in its proportion where the households owned it. In terms of the weekly
hours
Use synonyms
 spent on chores had
an
Change the article
a
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 smoothly decreasing trend.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, the ownership ratio of households with
the
Correct article usage
apply
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washing
Use synonyms
machine
Fix the agreement mistake
machines
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 increased from approximately 0% in 1920 to 100% in 1980, which had the largest difference among the subjects.
Next,
Linking Words
the percentage of households who owned vacuum
cleaner
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cleaners
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 reached as well to 100% in 2000.
However
Linking Words
, washing
Use synonyms
machine
Fix the agreement mistake
machines
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 didn't achieve 100% throughout these years, it remained in the range of 40% to 80%, which consists of the least difference. As
the
Correct article usage
apply
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home appliances became widespread,
weekly
Correct article usage
the weekly
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 time people spent on
houseworks
Correct your spelling
housework
 changed as
followed
Wrong verb form
follows
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. It
starts
Wrong verb form
started
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 with 50
hours
Use synonyms
 per week in 1920,
then
Linking Words
 it dropped to almost 10
hours
Use synonyms
 per week, which proves
the
Correct your spelling
that
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 technology saves our time.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words machine, hours with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "graphs" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "change" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "differences" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "trends" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • household appliances
  • time-efficient
  • labour-saving devices
  • technological innovations
  • ownership rate
  • housework chores
  • domestic workload
  • automation
  • advancements
  • trend analysis
  • societal shifts
  • economic impact
  • durability
  • lifespan of appliances
  • maintenance
  • historical comparison
  • time allocation
  • drudgery reduction
  • energy consumption
  • disruption in trends
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