t’s important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age. Punishment is necessary to help them learn this distinction. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? What sort of punishment should parents and teachers be allowed to use to teach good behavior to children? Korkem

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Many people think that
children
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must understand what is right and what is wrong from a young age. Some
also
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believe that
punishment
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is a good way to teach
this
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. I agree with
this
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idea, but I think the
punishment
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should be light and safe. I agree because
children
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live in a society where there are rules. If they break
rules
Correct article usage
the rules
show examples
, there are consequences.
This
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is the same in school and in the adult world, like in the criminal system.
For example
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, in school, if a child is always shouting, the teacher can take away play time. In real life, if someone breaks the law, they may go to jail. So, it is good to teach
children
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early with simple rules and fair punishments. Parents and teachers should not use physical
punishment
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. Hitting
children
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is not a good way.
Instead
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, they can use other ways.
For example
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, give them time-out, take away a toy, or not allow
to
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them to
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watch cartoons.
This
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helps the child to understand that bad
behavior
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behaviour
show examples
has a result, but they are not hurt. In conclusion, I believe
punishment
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can help
children
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learn what is wrong, but it must be soft and safe. Teachers and parents should use simple and kind ways to teach good
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
.

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task achievement
While your introduction presents a clear opinion, consider elaborating a bit more on the reasons behind your stance. This could strengthen your argument.
coherence and cohesion
Try to use more transitions between your ideas to enhance the flow of your essay. For example, using phrases like 'Furthermore' or 'Additionally' can help connect your points more clearly.
task achievement
Provide a wider range of examples to support your points, such as mentioning specific developmental benefits of understanding consequences.
task achievement
Your essay clearly outlines your stance on the issue and you provide some relevant examples to support your points, which is commendable.
coherence and cohesion
The structure of your essay is logical, with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion, making it easy to follow.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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