A lot of places in the world rely on tourism as a main source of income. Unfortunately, tourism can also be a source of problems if it is not managed correctly. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this fact.
It is widely argued that many places worldwide rely on tourism as the main country's income,
while
another statement believe
that it can Change the verb form
believes
also
cause problems if not handled correctly. This
essay will further
elaborate the
pros and cons of Change preposition
on the
this
phenomenon.
Generally, tourism has high power to support local businesses owned by the citizens. Purchases of culturally marked merchandise, destination ticket payments, and traditional restaurants are perfect examples of how tourist contributes plenty income of a
region. In Bali, the beauty of its beaches has attracted millions of international people to pay high prices in order to enjoy the view. Change preposition
to a
That is
why it can be included as one of the most effective sources of a state's wealth.
On the other hand
, tourism could damage a continent's most valued asset. For instance
, a historical monument in Yogyakarta called Candi Borobudur,
was getting a few scratches on its relief walls after a foreigner explored the building without boundaries. Remove the comma
apply
Besides
leaving a bad mark on that thousand-year-old building, it brings anger to the local residents. Now, the place forbids newcomers from touching the wall and only allows them to walk around it. Another example comes from the unlimited trash in the floor area of Jakarta's most popular street, Sudirman St. This
occurrence affects the capital city's environmental hygiene.
In conclusion, tourist attractions could definitely support national income. Nevertheless
, it is still possible for it to come at the cost of unwanted changes to the original site. To fix this
issue, regional governments must draw more attention to evaluating tourism-related regulations in their internal area.Submitted by jelitasofiaz on
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task achievement
Make sure to directly answer the question. Your introduction has paraphrased the question well, but your position should be clearer. Include a thesis statement that outlines what you will discuss.
task achievement
Some ideas are not fully developed. Each paragraph should have one clear main idea with fully explained examples and results.
task achievement
Use a wider range of specific examples to support your points. Ensure that the examples are relevant and effectively explain the advantage or disadvantage being discussed.
coherence and cohesion
Organize your ideas clearly. Use paragraphs for each main point. Each paragraph should begin with a clear topic sentence, with subsequent sentences explaining or supporting the topic sentence.
coherence and cohesion
Use cohesive devices appropriately. Words like 'on the other hand', and 'in conclusion' help to navigate the reader through your argument. However, make sure the usage flows naturally and is varied throughout your essay.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure your essay includes both an introduction and a conclusion. The conclusion should summarized the main points and restate the thesis, tying together your argument neatly.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.