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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below gives information about computer possession by household in one European country between 1997 and 2011. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below gives information about computer possession by household in one European country between 1997 and 2011. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The line graph depicts the ownership of
laptop
Fix the agreement mistake
laptops
show examples
 in homes
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
the UK in the
years
Use synonyms
 1997 and 2011. The calibration is given in percentages.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be noted that people with three or more
PC
Fix the agreement mistake
PCs
show examples
 had a stable number
whereas
Linking Words
, cottages with one or two
computer
Change to a plural noun
computers
show examples
 had
an increasing percentages
Correct the article-noun agreement
an increasing percentage
increasing percentages
show examples
however
Linking Words
, the localities with zero
destops
Correct your spelling
desktops
initially
Linking Words
had
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
declined in numbers.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, houses with more than three tablets had remained balanced over the
years
Use synonyms
 from 1997 to 2017 with 45
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 despite
few
Correct article usage
a few
show examples
flucuations
Correct your spelling
fluctuations
 primarily. People with one computer
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 none in 1997 and 1999 but there had been
gradual
Add an article
a gradual
show examples
 increase over the
years
Use synonyms
 from 2000 to 2017 where it
reaches
Wrong verb form
reached
show examples
 a
precentage
Correct your spelling
percentage
 of 10.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, individuals who prefer two
laptop
Change to a plural noun
laptops
show examples
 was 2
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 at first and
moreover
Linking Words
, had a dramatic
raise
Correct your spelling
rise
show examples
 to reach 29
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 by
end
Add an article
the end
show examples
.
In contrast
Linking Words
, the number of people with zero
computer
Change to a plural noun
computers
show examples
 was 47
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 but the situation
had
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
changed over the
years
Use synonyms
 where it
had
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
reduced to 30 by 2007 and
further
Linking Words
 decreases to 20
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 by 2011

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Vocabulary: Replace the words years, percent with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentages" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "reaches" was used 2 times.
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