Although for most people it takes a long time to become successful, for some, it happens at a very young age. Are the disadvantages of being a young celebrity greater than the advantages.

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In my

Correct your spelling

opinion

Correct your spelling

opinion

opinon

Add a comma

opinon,

show examples

Change the capitalization

show examples

think that being a celebrity at a young age

it's

Verb problem

show examples

a disadvantage

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

Because it can

Correct your spelling

affect

show examples

effect

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affect

show examples

neagatively on young people

Rephrase

negatively.

show examples

Hwoever

Correct your spelling

However

sometimes it can be an advantage with an adult watching them and

takeing

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taking

care of them, so

its

Replace the word

it's

it is

show examples

disadvantage

Replace the word

disadvantageous

show examples

thing unless there is someone older than them taking care of them and making sure that they're okay and

protect

Wrong verb form

protecting

show examples

them from

cyberbulling

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cyberbullying

cyber bullying

and

neagative

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apply

show examples

unnecessary comments. so in the end it depends on the kid

him self

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himself

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if he can

handel

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handle

all that negative energy.

For example

Linking Words

there is a lot of

celebrity

Fix the agreement mistake

celebrities

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that got very

famouse

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famous

when they were children and when they got older a lot of them happened to suffer from

depresision

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depression

because they didn't

had

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have

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the support an the care they needed from

there

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their

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friends,

Falmilies

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Families

and

there

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their

show examples

environment.

serahsh321Mon Apr 07 2025

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task achievement

Your opinion on the disadvantages of being a young celebrity is clear, but it could be more thoroughly developed with additional points and examples to support your argument effectively.

coherence and cohesion

Try to enhance the structure of your essay by clearly indicating the introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Each paragraph should focus on a single idea to improve logical flow.

coherence and cohesion

Pay attention to spelling and grammar; this includes correcting words like 'opinion,' 'affect,' 'negative,' and 'handle.' Improved accuracy will contribute positively to your score.

task achievement

The essay expresses a clear personal opinion on the topic, which is a strong starting point for any argument.

task achievement

You included a relevant example of young celebrities suffering from depression, providing a real-world context for your argument.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

1
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
25
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

1 paragraphs

139 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

privacy invasion
scrutinize
overwhelming pressure
mental health
miss out
exploitation
financial gain
financial independence
unique opportunities
renowned personalities
life experiences
peer influence
social advocacy

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Although for most people it takes a long time to become successful, for some, it happens at a very young age. Are the disadvantages of being a young celebrity greater than the advantages.

Include an introduction and conclusion

In many countries, it is mandatory for school children to wear uniforms. Do the advantages of this policy outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

In numerous nations, there is a growing trend for individuals to frequently discuss financial matters, such as their earnings or expenditures, in everyday conversation. What are the reasons behind this phenomenon? Is it advantageous or detrimental?

Some people think that individuals are becoming more dependent on each other in modern society, while others believe that individuals are becoming more independent of each other. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

The plans below show the site of an airport now and how it will look after redevelopment next year.Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features,and make comparisons where relevant.