IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people choose to have their first child at an older age. What are the reasons? Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Some people want to get a family and they
pass
Verb problem
spend
show examples
 one part of their life thinking about it.
In
Change preposition
At
show examples
 the
begining
Correct your spelling
beginning
 of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
time,
this
Linking Words
succes
Correct your spelling
success
was normal but with the
pass
Replace the word
passing
show examples
 of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
time,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
were go
Change the verb form
were going
show examples
 a
relationship
Fix the agreement mistake
relationships
show examples
 with somebody
with
Change preposition
of
show examples
their
Change the word
the
show examples
 same age.
However
Linking Words
; the idea
to make
Change preposition
of making
show examples
 a family
an
Correct your spelling
and
show examples
get a child is
depent
Correct your spelling
dependent
to consider
Change preposition
on considering
show examples
 a lot of
thnigs
Correct your spelling
things
,
such
Linking Words
 as
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
economy
Replace the word
economic
show examples
 stability, the
profesional carrer
Correct your spelling
professional career
 and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
emotional moment. for those
reasons
Add a comma
reasons,
show examples
 today is very common to know
a older parents
Correct the article-noun agreement
older parents
an older parent
show examples
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
It is essential to clearly express why some people choose to have children at an older age. Consider including ideas like career stability, financial readiness, and emotional maturity.
coherence and cohesion
Try to structure your essay with clear paragraphs: an introduction, body paragraphs each focusing on a specific reason, and a conclusion summarizing your thoughts.
coherence and cohesion
Be mindful of grammar and spelling. For instance, 'begining' should be 'beginning' and 'depend' should be 'depends'.
task achievement
You have identified relevant factors influencing the decision to have children at an older age, such as economic stability and emotional readiness.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • career aspirations
  • professional development
  • financial stability
  • personal fulfillment
  • higher levels of education
  • societal shift
  • parenting age
  • developed countries
  • socially acceptable
  • medical advancements
  • fertility treatments
  • conceive at a later age
  • delayed parenthood
What to do next:
Look at other essays: