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Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people believe that children should not be given homework every day, while others believe that they must get homework every day in order to be successful at school. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

The young
children
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 should do
homework
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 or not has been debated for many years.
This
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 essay will look at both viewpoints on
this
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 subject and
also
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 present my perspective.
First,
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I will examine why many people feel that young students should not get
homework
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 daily and
secondly
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, I will consider why many others think it is essential for their success
while
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 learning. Those who are in support of
homework
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 should be free
point
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to point
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 out that making positive social relationships
while
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 young
children
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 are in their parent's homes is crucial.
In other words
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, it is difficult for young
children
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 to make excellent communication so they need more free
moment
Fix the agreement mistake
moments
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.
For example
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, Many people think gaining social skills is more essential than academics. Another considerable reason for
this
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 is stress-related issues. When people( namely young
children
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) have short time deadlines for their assignments, usually get worried and stressed, which affects dreadfully on their mental health.
On the other hand
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, many parties contend that everyday house study plays a key role in their learning approaches. One possible reason is to learn how to manage their time to finish
homework
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 and assignments with fixed dates and
also
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 encourage them to take responsibility for their tasks. Another excellent reason is to reduce Internet usage. When students are at their house, spend many hours on gadgets if they don't have any tasks to do
thus
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, doing their assignments is a proper way to avoid utilising technology. Researches show that those who engage in the Internet for a long time have mental- problems
such
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 as Dementia.
To conclude
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, I strongly believe that students should get practice but only once or twice a week in that way, they make a balance between their studies and social life.

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task achievement
Consider expanding your introduction to clearly state both views in more depth and highlight your opinion more definitively.
coherence
Work on the clarity of your points and make sure each paragraph clearly supports your argument without unnecessary complexity.
coherence
Make sure to use appropriate connectors and cohesive devices to link your ideas together, enhancing overall flow.
task achievement
You have successfully presented both sides of the argument, which is essential for this type of essay.
task achievement
Your conclusion succinctly states your opinion, providing a clear takeaway for the reader.
task achievement
You made relevant points regarding social skills and mental health, showing an understanding of broader implications of homework.
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