IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Some people think schools should educate pupils according to their academic ability, and others believe pupils with different abilities should be educate together. Discuss both view and give your opinion

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The question of whether
to
Change preposition
apply
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education
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 should
depends
Wrong verb form
depend
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 on
pupil’s
Correct article usage
a pupil’s
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 academic
ability
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 or
education
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 should not have
difference
Correct article usage
a difference
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 has recently been hotly debated. Valid arguments have been proposed by both sides of
this
Linking Words
 topical debate, which will be taken into consideration, followed by my own take on
this
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 matter. On the one hand,
to have
Change the verb form
having
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similar
Correct article usage
a similar
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education
Use synonyms
 can help people to experience the same opportunity and chance for their future life.
Due to
Linking Words
 the fact that pupils
in
Change preposition
at
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the
Correct article usage
a
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 younger age don’t have the same
ability
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 that they will have
in
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at
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the
Correct article usage
an
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 older age.
Moreover
Linking Words
, if school
education
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 is tailored to students’ abilities, there may be a risk that people who below-poverty line do not have equal access to the same quality of
education
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 that affluent people have. And the other hand, those who advocate
from
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apply
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education
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according to
Linking Words
 pupils’ academic
ability
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 believe that not only
education
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 should be adapted to different needs and abilities, but
also
Linking Words
Use synonyms
ability
Add an article
the ability
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 of each student should be recognized.
In
Linking Words
addition
Add a comma
addition,
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 if training
based
Add a missing verb
is based
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 on their individual
ability
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, we can see
the
Correct article usage
an
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 efficient system and children have a better and clearer future. At least children’s time will not be wasted on activities that do not contribute to their future.
Overall
Linking Words
, from what has been discussed, I tend to feel that each person should educated individually. Of
course
Add a comma
course,
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this
Linking Words
 is provided that every pupil
need
Correct subject-verb agreement
needs
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 a little background in all fields.

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task achievement
Clarify your thesis statement to clearly outline your position and the main points you will discuss.
coherence and cohesion
Use more linking words and phrases to enhance the flow and connection between sentences and paragraphs.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your points, as this will strengthen your argument and provide clarity.
content
You've approached the topic with a clear intention to discuss both sides of the argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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