IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Trying to save endangered animal species from extinction is a waste of valuable resources. Do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Some argue that allocating valuable resources to protect endangered
species
Use synonyms
 is unnecessary and not significant.
In contrast
Linking Words
, I strongly disagree with
this
Linking Words
 viewpoint, as preserving these
animals
Use synonyms
 plays a vital role in maintaining ecological
balance
Use synonyms
 and ultimately benefits humanity as well. The following paragraphs will explore why safeguarding wildlife is essential for both the environment and our own well-being.
To begin
Linking Words
 with,
although
Linking Words
 some may not realize it, every animal
species
Use synonyms
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 crucial in retaining the
balance
Use synonyms
 of the ecosystem. On top of that, the disappearance of a single
species
Use synonyms
 can trigger a major reaction, impacting numerous other organisms that depend on it for food or ecological
balance
Use synonyms
.
For instance
Linking Words
,
due to
Linking Words
american
Change the capitalization
American
show examples
 hunters exterminated pigeons in 1956, forest growth has diminished by 67%, as they were the main "planters".
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
whereas
Linking Words
 the benefits may not always be immediately clear, protecting
animals
Use synonyms
 can fundamentally elevate human
lifes
Correct your spelling
lives
life
 by supporting ecosystems and preserving natural resources. Some endangered
animals
Use synonyms
 are essential for scientific research, and studying them can lead to new medicine or technology advancements.
For instance
Linking Words
, Canadian scientists have studied poisonous frogs to contribute painkillers more powerful than morphine, showing how endangered
species
Use synonyms
 may hold medical value. In conclusion, protecting endangered
species
Use synonyms
 is not only about saving
animals
Use synonyms
,
Linking Words
however
Correct word choice
but
show examples
also
Linking Words
 preserving the
balance
Use synonyms
 of ecosystems, which is vital for the health of our planet.
Animals
Use synonyms
 play a key role in maintaining ecosystems and can lead to scientific and medical breakthroughs.
Moreover
Linking Words
, by investing in their protection, we are contributing to the future of both humanity and the environment.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence and cohesion
Consider refining the clarity of your topic sentences and concluding remarks to enhance the overall coherence of your ideas.
task achievement
Including a few more specific examples to illustrate your points can strengthen your arguments and enhance your task response.
task achievement
You have presented a well-structured argument supporting the importance of preserving endangered species, which is commendable.
task achievement
Your essay demonstrates a clear understanding of ecological principles and their relevance to humanity, which is very insightful.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • endangered species
  • extinction
  • preserve
  • biodiversity
  • ecosystem
  • ecological roles
  • conservation efforts
  • scientific discoveries
  • advancements
  • cultural value
  • aesthetic value
  • employment opportunities
  • local economies
  • ethical responsibility
What to do next:
Look at other essays: