At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

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At the present time, In some countries, the number of young population is larger than the number of older population.
However
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, not all the effects of
this
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situation have been positive,
although
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there are certainly some advantages.
This
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essay will discuss the advantages and disadvantages of a young population. On the one hand, young
people
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are more useful to both society and the economy. They are usually more energetic and agile than
olders
Correct your spelling
older
holders
. Young
people
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are open to learning new work skills and
also
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offer new creative ideas. That's why they are the main workforce in different industries,
such
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as the technology and service
sector
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sectors
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. Employers are increasingly giving preference to younger applicants. BBC news report shows that the majority of the workforce in companies is made up of
people
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aged 24-37. In spite of these positive aspects, there are
also
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several drawbacks to
this
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situation. One major problem is the lack of experience of
young
Correct article usage
the young
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.
Although
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young adults have more energy and responsibility, they do have not the leadership skills that older
people
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have. So, they can face problems related to strategic and management matters. In these cases, they need advice from adults. Another negative aspect is that most young
people
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are very lazy. They prefer to live under the care of their parents and do not aspire to a work environment.
To sum up
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,
while
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there are some obvious drawbacks to young
people
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, they have brought society and economy many benefits at the same time. Having more young adults than older
people
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can be beneficial for development in all fields.

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task achievement
Consider providing more comprehensive examples to support your points; for instance, you could illustrate the impact of a young workforce on innovation with specific case studies or statistics.
task achievement
Expand on the disadvantages. For example, discussing potential societal issues arising from a predominantly young population, such as unemployment or youth unrest, would enhance your argument.
coherence and cohesion
Transition words and phrases could be used more effectively to enhance the flow of ideas. This will help the reader follow your argument more smoothly.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure to consistently use proper nouns and terms, e.g., use 'older people' instead of 'olders', which is less formal and may confuse readers.
structure
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively framing your argument.
task achievement
You present a balanced perspective by discussing both advantages and disadvantages, which is crucial for this type of question.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • demographic
  • workforce
  • productivity
  • innovation
  • skilled labor
  • social development
  • technology
  • dividend
  • competition
  • resources
  • social welfare
  • unrest
  • instability
  • healthcare
  • elderly care
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