An increasing number of people are now using dating sites to meet their better halves. Do you think that this tendency helps people to socialize or does more harm than good?

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Academic pressure has been widely discussed recently, especially among people aged 11- 16. Some people think that it is

due to

Linking Words

the condensed curriculum content, so they suggest

canceling

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cancelling

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the courses that have no academic content, giving

students

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more time to concentrate on their

studies

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. In

this

Linking Words

essay, I will explain why I disagree with

this

Linking Words

statement. One key reason for keeping the extracurricular programs at schools is that they are essential for

students

Use synonyms

' mental health and well-being. It helps learners to develop not only social awareness

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apply

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but

also

Linking Words

healthy bodies.

For example

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, research conducted in Jordan three years ago showed that the academic achievement

for

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those

students

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who practiced drawing

Wrong verb form

was

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higher than those who

have

Wrong verb form

had

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no interest.

Moreover

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, those high school

students

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were more likely to demonstrate social skills with others. which contributes to building a mature community. Another reason is that

students

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need entertainment. In grades 10-

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12,

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schools dedicate more

efforts

Fix the agreement mistake

effort

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Change preposition

show examples

the academic side as

students

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need high grades to proceed with their graduate

studies

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However

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

should not stop them from implementing the extracurricular programs that play a significant role in reducing the academic load.

For instance

Linking Words

studies

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have shown that the human brain's concentration span is 10-15 minutes. After that people need to do some activities to refresh their minds. Having short breaks that cause happiness during their

studies

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helps

students

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not only to increase their mental health

Remove the comma

apply

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but

also

Linking Words

to achieve progress in their academic performance. In conclusion, Academic stress should not be avoided by omitting the non-academic courses at schools.

As those

Correct word choice

Those

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courses have a remarkable contribution to the

students

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' academic performance and

wellbeing

Correct your spelling

well-being

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wafa80w70Tue Apr 08 2025

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task achievement

Clarify your stance in the introduction. Explicitly state that you disagree with canceling non-academic courses right at the beginning for better clarity.

task achievement

Ensure that you provide more specific examples to support your claim about the benefits of extracurricular programs. For example, mention particular activities that contribute to mental health.

coherence and cohesion

Use linking words and phrases more effectively to improve the flow of ideas. For instance, transitions between paragraphs can enhance the connectivity of your argument.

coherence and cohesion

Avoid minor grammatical issues, such as using incorrect punctuation in the sentence "... social skills with others. which contributes to..." to enhance the professionalism of your writing.

task achievement

You present a clear opinion against the cancellation of non-academic courses and provide relevant, logical arguments to support your point of view.

coherence and cohesion

The essay is structured with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which helps in presenting your ideas orderly.

7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

272 words

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An increasing number of people are now using dating sites to meet their better halves. Do you think that this tendency helps people to socialize or does more harm than good?

In many countries today, if people want to find work, they have to move away from their friends and their families. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

Nowadays more people are living by themselves. What are the reasons for this? Will this have a negative or a positive impact on the society?