IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

some people feel that it is better to live in a city while others believe that life is better in the country side. discuss both sides and give your opinion

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It is often said that it is better to live in an urban city than in
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 rural
area
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss both views and I will give my own opinion. There is no doubt that living in cities has a strong advantage, as cities are known as strategic
place
Fix the agreement mistake
places
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 for
people
Use synonyms
 to spend their lives in. They can pursue their career since many companies build their services or factories there. The opportunities
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
offered by these kinds of businesses make
them
Correct pronoun usage
it
show examples
 possible to have a good income.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, as cities are full
with
Change preposition
of
show examples
 buildings and
people
Use synonyms
 from anywhere to live by, crowded
area
Use synonyms
 makes them easily find a traffic jam. Pollution
also
Linking Words
 becomes
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 problem faced in every urban
area
Use synonyms
,
due to
Linking Words
 so many vehicles, especially
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
private ones.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, living in rural
Use synonyms
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
show examples
 offers the opposite things.
People
Use synonyms
 can have a slow living
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 since they do not need to commute faraway from home to
office
Correct article usage
the office
show examples
. Most of the local
people
Use synonyms
 there can take a very short walk just to go to their field or garden and start working. They do not have to work from
nine-to-five
Correct your spelling
nine to five
show examples
, so that they will not face the congestion
everyday
Replace the word
every day
show examples
. Good air
condition
Wrong verb form
conditioning
show examples
 is
also
Linking Words
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 good point of living in the countryside,
due to
Linking Words
minim
Correct your spelling
minimal
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accomodations
Correct your spelling
accommodations
 and
pollutions
Fix the agreement mistake
pollution
show examples
.
However
Linking Words
, it will offer a limited opportunity to pursue
career
Add an article
a career
show examples
 as
professional
Correct article usage
a professional
show examples
, since there are only a few companies
build
Correct pronoun usage
that build
show examples
 their business there. In conclusion, both options have their own advantages and drawbacks. I personally believe that
people
Use synonyms
 should live by pursuing their passion. It will be possible if they achieve it by living in a place that supports them.

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task achievement
Consider providing more specific examples or statistics to strengthen your arguments, especially in the sections discussing the advantages and disadvantages of city and rural living.
coherence
Make sure to clearly distinguish between the two main points you are discussing. It might help to use clearer transition phrases to emphasize the differences between urban and rural living.
coherence
In your conclusion, try to summarize the main points more concisely and reinforce your opinion clearly to leave a strong final impression.
content
You presented a balanced view of both urban and rural living, addressing their respective advantages and disadvantages.
structure
Your introduction clearly outlines the purpose of the essay, which is important for guiding the reader.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • urbanization
  • metropolitan
  • amenities
  • congestion
  • rural
  • serenity
  • sustainable living
  • commute
  • infrastructure
  • cosmopolitan
  • tranquility
  • pros and cons
  • lifestyle
  • work-life balance
  • wellbeing
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