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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

some people think that the best way to reduce crime is to give the death penalty. Others, however, believe there are better alternative ways of reducing crime. discuss both views and give your opinion.

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Some argue that the death penalty is the most effective means of curbing crime,
while
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 others contend that alternative approaches are more appropriate.
Although
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 capital punishment may offer certain benefits, I believe it is not the most suitable or ethical solution.
This
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 essay will examine both viewpoints and explain why I advocate for rehabilitative and preventative measures
instead
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. Advocates of capital punishment often claim that its severity acts as a powerful deterrent to potential criminals. In countries where the death penalty is actively enforced, serious offences
such
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 as murder and drug trafficking appear to occur less frequently.
Furthermore
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, supporters maintain that it delivers a sense of justice to victims and their families,
while
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 permanently eliminating the threat posed by dangerous individuals. From an economic perspective, they
also
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 argue that it reduces the financial strain on governments, which would
otherwise
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 be required to fund lifelong imprisonment.
On the other hand
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, critics assert that more humane and constructive methods should be employed to reduce crime rates. Rehabilitation programs that focus on education, psychological support, and vocational training can significantly lower recidivism by equipping offenders with the skills and mindset needed to reintegrate into society. Norway is often cited as a successful example, boasting some of the world’s lowest reoffending rates
due to
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 its emphasis on restorative justice.
Additionally
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, the risk of wrongful conviction cannot be ignored; capital punishment is irreversible, and any miscarriage of justice would have devastating consequences.
Therefore
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, prioritising social reforms—
such
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 as improving access to education, mental health services, and employment opportunities—may yield more long-term and ethically sound outcomes. In conclusion,
while
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 the death penalty may provide a short-term deterrent effect, I believe it fails to address the underlying causes of criminal behaviour. Governments should
instead
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 invest in evidence-based strategies that promote rehabilitation and social equity, thereby fostering a safer and more just society.

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task achievement
Ensure each main point is further developed with more detailed examples or specific data where possible. This will strengthen your argument and provide clearer support for your claims.
coherence and cohesion
Consider using more varied cohesive devices to enhance the flow between your ideas and make connections clearer for the reader.
introduction
The introduction clearly presents both sides of the argument and establishes a clear thesis statement, setting a solid foundation for the essay.
supporting evidence
Your use of examples, such as Norway's rehabilitative approach, supports your argument against the death penalty effectively.
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