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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The pie chart below gives information on how people use four types of transport and the table provides of five reasons data of using a car in Edmonton.

The pie chart below gives information on how people use four types of transport and the table provides of five reasons data of using a car in Edmonton.
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This
Linking Words
 diagram illustrates the four different transport ways
from
Change preposition
for
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 Edmonton's citizens and the table compares
there
Correct your spelling
their
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reason
Fix the agreement mistake
reasons
show examples
 for using
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Use synonyms
car
Fix the agreement mistake
cars
show examples
 in Edmonton. To analyze these charts, we begin by taking a closer look at the data presented, it is obvious that
Use synonyms
car
Fix the agreement mistake
cars
show examples
occupied
Wrong verb form
occupy
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 the largest
in
Change preposition
of
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 four categories, and most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people use
the
Change the word
their
show examples
Use synonyms
car
Fix the agreement mistake
cars
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 to commute to work. As
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
can be seen, 45%
individuals
Change preposition
of individuals
show examples
 from Edmonton transport by
car
Use synonyms
, which is the main
mathod
Correct your spelling
method
 of
transportations
Fix the agreement mistake
transportation
show examples
. light rail transit consists of 35%, in the second high stage. Bus and Taxi
devide
Correct your spelling
divide
decide
 the
last
Linking Words
 part, both are 10%, which means people do not tend to take
bus
Fix the agreement mistake
buses
show examples
 or
taxi
Fix the agreement mistake
taxis
show examples
 in the given countries.
According to
Linking Words
 the second graph, it is apparent readily that among the reasons
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 citizens using the
car
Use synonyms
, commuting to work is the highest rate(55%). Business
is account
Wrong verb form
accounts
show examples
 for 45%, less 10% than the type of commute to work.The medium category in whole reasons is taking children to school, 40% of people using cars to
taking
Wrong verb form
take
show examples
 their kids to go to school.
On the contrary
Linking Words
, the numbers of shopping and leisure activities occupy 15%,
seperately
Correct your spelling
separately
.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words car with synonyms.
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