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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

An increasing number of people are buying what they need online •What are the advantages and disadvantages of both Indivisual and companies for shopping online

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Buying products online has become a new trend in
this
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 era. Online shopping has many benefits for both
companies
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 and purchasers,
such
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 as making the shopping process easier for individuals and saving them
time
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.
In addition
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, it helps
companies
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 to increase their profits.
However
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, it has its drawbacks as well, it has led to increased laziness
among
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in
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 society. Not only
this
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, but it has
also
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 raised competition between
companies
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. Online shopping has many benefits for both
companies
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 and purchasers,
such
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 as
:
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apply
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 making the shopping process easier for individuals online websites
helps
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help
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people
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 to meet their needs faster. Since most
people
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 are busy and have a lot of missions to do, it becomes hard to manage their
time
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 to accomplish everything in its
time
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.
Nevertheless
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, online shopping is a good alternative that can save
people
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 a lot of hours and effort.
For instance
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, most workers tend to have full schedules and buying things online is helpful for them, and they can use plenty of
time
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 to have some rest.
Moreover
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, for Commercial establishments, it can be very useful to create an app to expand their business, since it leads to an increase in the number of buyers.
As a result
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, a rise in sales and the rate of consumption.
For example
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, teenagers nowadays are more likely to buy their clothes online since they think that the clothes there are more fashionable and trendier, so opening an app will help
companies
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 gain more customers. Despite the advantages of online stores,
this
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 trend has
resulted
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resulted in
resulted from
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 a high rate of laziness amongst the general public. The dependence on websites and apps to buy everything has made
people
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 lazier and more isolated, which is harmful and might cause fatness and some mental complications.
For example
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, shopping offline is a great opportunity to stretch muscles and exercise. If
people
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 replace
this
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 habit with online purchasing, it might have an adverse impact on them, especially for those who do not exercise regularly.
Furthermore
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, online shopping made the competition between
companies
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 even higher. With all these websites, users now can compare different products in different stores and decide what is the better option for them.
As a result
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,
companies
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 must emphasize that their products have the best quality and price.
For instance
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, in the food sector, there are more than 2000 restaurants which make the same type of food in the same city. In conclusion, a growing number of
people
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 have become online buyers,
due to
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 the advantages of
this
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 trend, including providing a simple way to buy one's needs,
besides
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 maintaining their
time
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,
however
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, it has made society more inactive. Meanwhile, for firms, it has increased the profits and the competition as well.

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Coherence and Cohesion
Improve the clarity and organization of your ideas. Consider using clear topic sentences for each paragraph to guide the reader.
Task Achievement
Ensure that your introduction provides a more balanced preview of both advantages and disadvantages to set the stage for the discussion.
Task Achievement
Provide more specific examples and details to support your points, particularly in discussing the disadvantages of online shopping.
Task Achievement
Your essay successfully identifies both advantages and disadvantages of online shopping for individuals and companies.
Coherence and Cohesion
You have a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which is essential for coherence.
Task Achievement
Your use of examples, such as teenagers buying online for fashion, helps illustrate your points.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Convenience
  • Accessibility
  • Cost-effectiveness
  • Comparison shopping
  • Privacy
  • Consumer behavior
  • Market reach
  • Inventory management
  • E-commerce
  • Shipping logistics
  • Customer service
  • Return policy
  • Fraud prevention
  • Digital footprint
  • Supply chain management
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