IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?

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In certain countries, owning a
property
Use synonyms
 is a favourable option compared to renting
houses
Use synonyms
.
This
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 essay will explore the
factor
Fix the agreement mistake
factors
show examples
contributed
Correct pronoun usage
that contributed
show examples
 to
this
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 phenomenon and explain my opinion that I regard it as a partially positive development. One reason why individuals prefer owning a home is that they treat paying rent as
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 monthly investment
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
its
Change the word
the
show examples
property
Use synonyms
.
Instead
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 of paying
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the landlord the rent without owning the
property
Use synonyms
 right, it's a profitable decision to undertake the housing loan for
aquiring
Correct your spelling
acquiring
 the housing
ownership
Use synonyms
 in the long term. Another reason comes with the sense of security
along with
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 the
ownership
Use synonyms
 of a house.
Houses
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 are relatively solid
investment
Fix the agreement mistake
investments
show examples
 in all types of financial products, which not only
last
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 its value for the next generation
,
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apply
show examples
 but
also
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 offer the space for the descendant to live.
As a result
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, owning a house has still been one of
common
Add an article
the common
show examples
 life goals for adults. From my point of view, I think of it as more of a positive outcome.
Younger
Add an article
The younger
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 generation has
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 goal to achieve in their lifetime. At the same time, it
boost
Change the verb form
boosts
show examples
 the housing
market
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, which contributes to the national economic growth. There is a downside,
however
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, if too many individuals with abundant resources
owned
Wrong verb form
own
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 multiple
houses
Use synonyms
 at one time, it
posed
Wrong verb form
poses
show examples
 the negative
imapct
Correct your spelling
impact
 that only wealthy people are able to afford the price.
This
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 leads to the social problems of little people
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
not having
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
ownership
Use synonyms
. It is
therefore
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 the government should keep an eye on how the
market
Use synonyms
 operates in a positive way. In conclusion, the trend of
owing
Correct your spelling
owning
show examples
houses
Use synonyms
 can be attributed
by
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the way of thinking
paying
Change preposition
of paying
show examples
 the rent as an investment and the sense of security brought by the
ownership
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 of the house.
While
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 in some cases, the
market
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 mechanism of
housing
Correct article usage
the housing
show examples
market
Use synonyms
making
Wrong verb form
makes
show examples
 it harder for
younger
Add an article
the younger
a younger
show examples
 generation to afford a
property
Use synonyms
, I consider it
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a positive phenomenon because it helps enhance national economic growth
overall
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.

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Task Achievement
Expand on the supporting points in more detail, providing clearer examples or anecdotes to enhance your arguments.
Coherence and Cohesion
Work on ensuring smooth transitions between paragraphs and ideas. This will help the reader follow your arguments more easily.
Coherence and Cohesion
Clarify any vague terms, such as 'some cases' in your conclusion, for stronger specificity.
Task Achievement
The essay addresses the prompt effectively with a clear introduction and conclusion.
Task Achievement
The opinion is clearly stated and supported with reasoning about the pros and cons of home ownership.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • ownership
  • renting
  • importance
  • sense of security
  • stability
  • financial investment
  • asset
  • customize
  • decorate
  • belonging
  • community
  • potential
  • future generations
  • long-term
  • cost advantage
  • control
  • living space
What to do next:
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