IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

The pie charts below give information about the household expenditure of an average U.S. family in different years.

The pie charts below give information about the household expenditure of an average U.S. family in different years.
The given pie charts illustrate the database about the
household
Use synonyms
 expenditures of statistical United States families between 1970 and 2004.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be seen that the
significant
Correct article usage
a significant
show examples
 difference between the two years. The leading of average
household
Use synonyms
 costs
were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
mortgage
Add an article
a mortgage
show examples
,
Linking Words
nevertheless
Add a comma
nevertheless,
show examples
 it was seriously changed by
second
Add an article
a second
show examples
 pie chart.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, in 1970, all statistic
household
Use synonyms
 expenditure was approximately
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
, only
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
childcare’s
Change noun form
childcare
show examples
 expenses
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 1%.
Therefore
Linking Words
 food, clothing and mortgage were the biggest expenses which were 25%, 22% and 26% in 1970.
Continue
Wrong verb form
Continuing
show examples
 with, in 2004, there was more distinctive spending,
then
Linking Words
 average
household
Use synonyms
 costs
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 more edited, and the mortgage budget was bigger than others which was 50%, and it took a leadership position of average
household
Use synonyms
 spending.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the smallest spent on transport
became
Verb problem
was
show examples
 for transport, which was 5%. The
food’
Change noun form
food
show examples
 spending became 12% in 2004, and the vehicle’s expenses became 5%.

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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words household with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "give" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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