Some people say that older people should live with their adult children, while others think they should live in homes specially built for old people. Which do you think is a better practice?

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There is an ongoing debate about whether should older
people
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living
Wrong verb form
live
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with their adult
children
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or in
homes
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specially built for old
people
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. Some
people
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believe that older
people
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should live with their adult
children
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,
while
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other
people
Use synonyms
think that better for old
people
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if they live in
homes
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This
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essay will discuss both views and give my own opinion. Some
people
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believe that older
people
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should live with their adult
children
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, they argue that need someone
make
Fix the infinitive
to make
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them happy or help them because the
children
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had
Wrong verb form
have
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something different , they can
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looking
tooking
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talk
with old
people
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make
Correct word choice
and make
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them smile ,
for example
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when my little brother
play
Correct subject-verb agreement
plays
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with my grandmother, she was
smaile
Correct your spelling
smile
for my brother and they drowning
also
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she loves him
As a
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result
Add a comma
result,
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my brother
paied
Correct your spelling
paid
some
Change preposition
for some
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food
to
Change preposition
for
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her .
On the other hand
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, other
people
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believe that live in
homes
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specially built for old
people
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. They argue that good for them because
it
Add a verb
it is
it was
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more comfortable.
For example
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, when they wanted sleep or
need to
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needed
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some
Correct determiner usage
a
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break they
can had
Wrong verb form
could have
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it , my grandfather
she had
Verb problem
was
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more
relax
Replace the word
relaxed
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and she
feeling
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felt
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better because her home was
complete silence
Replace the word
completely silent
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so she
can
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could
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make
every thing
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everything
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withe
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without
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out mess . In my opinion, I think that old
people
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should live in
homes
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because they need some rest and peace of mind .

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language clarity
Ensure sentences are grammatically correct and clear, especially in complex structures. For instance, 'they can tooking with old people' should be rephrased for clarity.
idea development
Develop examples further to enhance support for your points. Instead of just stating your opinion, explain why rest and peace of mind specifically benefit older individuals.
coherence
Work on the organization of ideas; ensure that each paragraph flows logically, linking sentences more effectively to create a smoother narrative.
task response
You present both views, which is essential for the task; this shows an understanding of the debate.
task response
Your personal opinion is clearly stated at the end, which helps in concluding the essay effectively.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • emotional support
  • familial bonding
  • isolated
  • heritage
  • traditions
  • personalized care
  • wheelchair accessibility
  • facilities
  • community of peers
  • social interactions
  • mental health
  • generation gaps
  • lifestyle
  • pressure of caregiving
  • feelings of abandonment
  • isolation
What to do next:
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