IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Many students have to study ssubjects which they donot like. Some people think this is complete waste of time. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement.

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In
this
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 contemporary era, education is
a
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an
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 essential part of life and there is a wide range of
subjects
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 that
students
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 have to
study
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 even if they are not interested in that particular area of
study
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. It is generally argued that forcing children to learn a subject which they dislike is a complete waste of time,
i
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I
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 completely disagree with
this
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 statement and the essay will elaborate
the
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on the
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 reasons. No doubt, it is easier to learn an interesting subject
however
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, learning different
subject
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subjects
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 is essential in student's lives.
Firstly
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,
in
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at
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 an early age, many children do not have specific career goals
due to
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lack
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a lack
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 of awareness and knowledge.
For example
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, they might want to become a teacher
whereas
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, with
the
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apply
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time their interest changes because of more security and career opportunities in other fields. Many educational schools have mandatory
subjects
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 from 3rd grade to 8th grade. To exemplify, a survey was conducted in a company in the United States of America showing that at the age of 15 individuals had chosen other careers compared to those fields in which they are working currently.
Secondly
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, having more areas of
study
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 at secondary schools
broaden
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broadens
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 the options of fields in higher education.
Moreover
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, learning a wide range of studies increases critical thinking, capability and practical skills that are important outside of school.
For instance
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, if art intelligent
students
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 learn mathematics they will develop the ability of calculation, and data management
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this
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which
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 will aid them in managing their own finances effortlessly. To move
further
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,
although
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,
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apply
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 some people believe that children should have their own preference to choose
subjects
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 it can result in missing an opportunity to gain knowledge about other areas
consequently
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, they might miss an opportunity to have different career options in their future.
To conclude
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,
while
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 it seems more burden on youngsters to
study
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 the variety of
subjects
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 that they dislike,
such
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 a policy
of
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in
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 schools can help them to have a more secure future and job choices. I strongly believe that it is not only imperative but compulsory for
students
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 to learn different courses during their academic period and educational institutes should have 6 necessary
subjects
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 for
students
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 that
taught
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teach
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 them about basic life essential skills.

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coherence and cohesion
Consider restructuring some sentences for better clarity; for example, rather than saying 'i completely disagree with this statement and the essay will elaborate the reasons,' you could say, 'I believe that studying a variety of subjects is beneficial, and this essay will outline my reasons.'
coherence and cohesion
Make sure you use appropriate capitalization throughout your essay. For example, 'i' should be 'I' and 'subjects' should be 'Subjects' when at the beginning of a sentence.
task achievement
Try to provide more detailed examples or explanations to support your points. For instance, you mention a survey, but you could specify what the survey found to strengthen your argument.
coherence and cohesion
Improve transitions between ideas to help them flow better. For instance, using linking phrases can help guide the reader through your arguments more smoothly.
task achievement
You have a clear position throughout the essay, and your disagreement is well articulated in the introduction and conclusion.
task achievement
You provide valid points that support your argument about the importance of studying various subjects, especially in terms of career flexibility and skill development.
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