Some people believe that social media sites, such as Facebook or Twitter, have a negative impact on young people and their ability to form personal relationships. Others believe that these sites bring people together in a beneficial way.

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On the
first
Correct word choice
other
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hand ,Many
indivisuals
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individuals
believe that social
media
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applications
for example
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, Instagram and X have a bad side specially when it comes to bulid or
start
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starting
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a new relationships
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a new relationship
new relationships
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for
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with
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tenagers
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teenagers
.
On the other hand
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,A lot of
people
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think that social
media
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applications
helps
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help
show examples
people
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to stay social together by using these sites.
Overall
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,Social
media
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became
Wrong verb form
has become
show examples
one of the most communications methods nowadays .All these
sities
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sites
cities
provided
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provide
show examples
a
virtuall
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virtual
virtually
interact
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interaction
show examples
by
adiuo
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audio
radio
or
facecam
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face cam
or
chating
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chatting
,Which is a huge innovation
has
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that has
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changed our daily
cummunications
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communications
communication
with families and
freineds
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friends
.
However
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,
People
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are thinking
Wrong verb form
think
show examples
that social
media
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could
be
Verb problem
have
show examples
a negative impact
for
Change preposition
on
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young
people
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because,
Firstly
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,they believe that social
media
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could reduce the ability of expressions for young
people
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.
Secondly
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,Young
people
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need to have
a physical interactions
Correct the article-noun agreement
physical interactions
a physical interaction
show examples
with others more than waste time
bahined
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behind
screens . Others
are believe
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believe
show examples
that social
media
Use synonyms
is a beneficial way ,They
are having
Wrong verb form
have
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two reasons ,
Firstly
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,Young
people
Use synonyms
needs
Change the verb form
need
show examples
to
expose
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be exposed
show examples
to different types of
people
Use synonyms
on social
media
Use synonyms
and that will help
people
Use synonyms
to stay
confidant
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confident
show examples
.
Secondly
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, They could follow the
infulwensers
Correct your spelling
influencers
on these sites and learn from them,
For example
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,Follow the good role models in your country . In conclusion ,
People
Use synonyms
are
Verb problem
do
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not
having
Wrong verb form
have
show examples
same
Change the article
the same
show examples
opinion about using social
media
Use synonyms
for young
people
Use synonyms
.
In addition
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,Social
media
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could either have a good or bad impact
specially
Replace the word
especially
show examples
for young
people
Use synonyms
and we have mentioned both views ,In my opinion ,I
am
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
tottaly
Correct your spelling
totally
agree that young
people
Use synonyms
need to use social
media
Use synonyms
and
this
Linking Words
is a good factor
will
Correct pronoun usage
that will
show examples
help them to gain and start a new relationships.

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task achievement
Consider revising the introduction to provide a clearer overview of the arguments you will discuss. Try to set a stronger context for the debate around social media's impact on young people.
coherence and cohesion
Work on improving the flow between sentences and paragraphs. Using transition words can help to guide the reader through your arguments more smoothly.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your arguments. This will strengthen your points and help illustrate your ideas clearly.
task achievement
You have presented a balanced view by discussing both advantages and disadvantages of social media, which is commendable.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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