Some people think the government should ban dangerous sports and some others think it is a freedom to choose the activities we want to. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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Some

people

Use synonyms

state that some

sports

Use synonyms

are so dangerous that

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

governments

Use synonyms

should set laws to prevent

people

Use synonyms

from joining the activities,

while

Linking Words

the participants argue that it is their freedom to choose. I strongly believe that

non

Correct your spelling

none

show examples

of the

sports

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should be illegal, but the

governments

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should educate the public about the potential danger. There are various reasons why

people

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prefer dangerous

sports

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First,

Linking Words

the

sports

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such

Linking Words

bugee

Correct your spelling

bungee

jumping, mountain climbing and skiing add excitement to life. Nowadays,

people

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are stressed with pressure from work, study and family, skydiving from 10,000 feet or surfing huge waves in Hawaii gives

people

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a feeling of being alive and completely present in the moment.

Besides

Linking Words

, doing

sports

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means challenging their limitations. Some

people

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pay

Verb problem

make

show examples

efforts to learn winter

sports

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by devoting both time and money

into

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show examples

gaining professional training.

For example

Linking Words

, they pay tuition fees and membership fees,

Correct word choice

and travelling

show examples

travelling

Verb problem

travel

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to the training playground in countries where the weather is chill and the mountains are covered with snow all

the

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apply

show examples

year. With repetitive practice, they perform better and continuously break their own records. Some participants

then

Linking Words

become professional athletes and join

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

competition

Fix the agreement mistake

competitions

show examples

such

Linking Words

Winter

Correct article usage

the Winter

show examples

Olympic Games, competing with

athlets

Correct your spelling

athletes

all over the world to improve their skills and break

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

world

record

Fix the agreement mistake

records

show examples

. The training not only equips them with knowledge

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apply

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but

also

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leads to

sense

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a sense

show examples

fulfillment

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fulfilment

show examples

and achievements in daily life. That sense of accomplishment boosts confidence.

However

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, it is the

Use synonyms

governments'

Change noun form

government's

show examples

responsibility to educate the public to raise their awareness of self-protection

while

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exercising. Online courses about the potential danger and the actions

can

Correct pronoun usage

that can

show examples

be taken after being hurt or

injuried

Correct your spelling

injured

Besides

Linking Words

governments

Use synonyms

should set rules to govern the companies.

For example

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, some groups

such

Linking Words

as children, seniors and pregnant women should be restricted from participating in these activities.

To sum up

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, the government and the public should collaborate with each other on developing a safe and healthy awareness

while

Linking Words

joining the activities.

chengdongshaoFri Apr 11 2025

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task achievement

You should elaborate more on your opinion. Providing a stronger, more personal rationale for your belief would enhance your argument.

coherence

Try to enhance the flow between paragraphs by using more linking words or phrases. This will make your essay easier to follow.

coherence

Consider refining your sentence structures and varying your vocabulary to make your writing more engaging and sophisticated.

task achievement

Your essay clearly presents both sides of the argument, which shows good understanding of the task requirements.

task achievement

The examples provided from activities such as skiing and skydiving vividly illustrate the points made and showcase your ability to support your arguments.

coherence

You have given a balanced view, acknowledging both the dangers of sports and the importance of personal freedom, which is a great approach to the topic.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
20
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

325 words

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Some people believe that children should spend all of their free time with their families, while others believe that this is unnecessary or even negative. Discuss both views and give your opinion

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