In many countries, childhood obesity is a growing problem. What are the reasons for this and what can individuals and governments do to tackle the problem?

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Childhood obesity is an alarming and growing problem in most developed countries. Multiple studies revealed that one main reason behind

this

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issue is people consuming increased amounts of processed food. Processed foods lack nutritious

fibers

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fibres

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and vitamins and are packed with saturated fats, sugar and conservatives, leading to obesity in the long run.

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children

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nowadays are less active. A general lifestyle change and excessive gadget use result in reduced physical activity. Many kids prefer video games or scrolling on their phones rather than engaging in sports or outdoor play.

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lack of movement negatively impacts their

overall

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health and well-being. Individuals, especially parents, play the most important role in change. They should consider the quality of food they provide.

Carful

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meal planning can be

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a dealbreakers

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dealbreakers

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, and home-cooked meals are a step toward a healthier lifestyle. Parents should

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limit

children

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's screen time.

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of letting them stay indoors, caretakers should plan outdoor activities. Being outside benefits both their and their

children

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's health and reduces stress and anxiety. Encouraging kids to join sports or community programs can increase activity levels and social interactions.

Goverments

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Governments

Government

should

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take an active role. Regulations on

children

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's meals and supplements should be stricter. Producers must reduce harmful ingredients, chemicals, and preservatives. A limitation on added sugars and fats should be considered. Schools should offer healthier meal options and promote physical activities to ensure

children

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's well-being.

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obesity is a serious issue

amongst

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children

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, society has tools to tackle

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problem. Raising awareness, making informed food choices, and promoting active lifestyles can make a

signifecant

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significant

difference.

erwitanuFri Apr 11 2025

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task achievement

The essay has a good introduction explaining the issue of childhood obesity and its causes, but providing more detailed statistics or examples could enhance the understanding of the problem.

task achievement

Some points made in the paragraphs could be better developed. For instance, the explanation on how parents can help their kids could include specific examples of meals or activities.

coherence and cohesion

The essay is organized logically, with clear paragraphing. However, some transition phrases could be used to improve the flow, such as 'Furthermore' or 'In addition'.

coherence and cohesion

The conclusion is present and summarizes the main points, but consider including a call to action for both individuals and governments to further emphasize the need for collective effort.

task achievement

The essay clearly identifies the causes of childhood obesity and suggests practical solutions for both individuals and governments, demonstrating a well-rounded understanding of the topic.

coherence and cohesion

Good use of paragraphs to separate ideas, highly readable and easy to follow.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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6
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

262 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

childhood obesity
sedentary lifestyle
balanced diet
fast food
sugary snacks
physical activity
nutrition education
health campaigns
public health initiatives
government regulations
home-cooked meals
extracurricular sports
digital entertainment
sedentary behavior

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In many countries, childhood obesity is a growing problem. What are the reasons for this and what can individuals and governments do to tackle the problem?

Fully explain your ideas

In many countries today the retirement age from work has been raised. Do the advantages of raising the retirement age from work outweigh the disadvantages?

Which do you prefer: a high-paying job with long hours or a lower-paying job with shorter hours? Use specific reasons and details to support your answer.

In the past, people used to travel abroad to look for many differences from their home country. Nowadays, cities throughout the world are becoming more and more similar. What are the reasons？Is this a positive or negative development？

When asked to choose between a life without work and working most of the time, people would always choose not to work. Do you agree or disagree with this statement.

Nowadays, some families want their child to learn at home instead of learn at school. To what extent do you agree or disagree?