Very few schoolchildren learn about the value of money and how to look after it, yet this is a critical life skill that should be taught as part of the school curriculum. Do you agree or disagree?

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As learning the worth of cash is one's crucial life skill, schools ought to teach students
this
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like a regular course
this
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is because there are limited numbers of kids who know how to manage their finances. I believe that it is the responsibility of kid's parents to tell them how to spend or save. On the one hand, most of the transactions are done online
due to
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which the usage of money nowadays has become more complicated than in previous times, and it is hard to keep track of cash when it's spent just in numbers;
for instance
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, reports say that 90% of people make online purchases
whereas
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only 10% of citizens use cash for their shopping.
Hence
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, it is really important to teach children how to save money
as well as
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manage everyday expenses without overspending.
Besides
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, educational institutions already teach numerous subjects every day to schoolchildren, so it is hard for them to add another one to the list. Because
this
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is a lifetime challenge, it is hardly possible to teach educators through books about how they should start valuing their bill.
Hence
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, it should be taught practically by their parents with live examples by showing them how they spend their funds on a daily basis without wasting
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
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. To explain, research says that 99% of kids tend to learn what they see around them in their family.
To conclude
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,
although
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spending capital is a critical life skill, schools have already a lot on their plate so they are not responsible for teaching it to kids.
However
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, children learn mostly in their childhood,
hence
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children should learn
this
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valuable lesson of life from their parents.

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task achievement
Try to provide clearer points supporting your argument. It would be beneficial to elaborate more on why these skills are necessary in today's financial environment.
coherence and cohesion
You may want to improve the structure of your paragraphs. Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea and cohesive supporting sentences.
task achievement
It would enhance your essay to include more specific examples or scenarios that illustrate your points about spending and saving money.
task achievement
Your essay clearly presents a personal opinion on the topic, which is important for task achievement.
coherence and cohesion
You have a good introduction that sets the stage for the discussion about the value of financial literacy in education.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • financial literacy
  • curriculum
  • fiscal responsibility
  • money management
  • budgeting
  • saving
  • investing
  • adult population
  • financial decisions
  • educational systems
  • theoretical curriculum
  • practical life skills
  • real-life experience
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