Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case ? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development ?

#children #hours #smartphones #case #development

The world is currently changing in a very fast phase , especially in technology departments. One of the examples is a smartphone. It becomes an obligation for everyone to have one of them. Even, a child can spend hours every day on it.

That is

why, it has become very popular among children too; since the technologies are distributed well to everyone without exceptions. In my view,

this

is a good thing,

hence

young generations will know more about technologies earlier and they can utilize it to help their study and self-development.

To begin

with, none of us can finish our work without a smartphone. In fact, most schools force them to buy it; since most of the activities will need access to it.

Thus

, they will depend on those gadgets every day and live with them.

Nonetheless

, most of them can spend hours daily.

Moreover

this

high-tech thing helps parents monitor their loved ones and easier to communicate with them. To be honest,

this

phenomenon is awesome in my opinion;

hence

young generation can operate it early and make their lives easier.

On the other hand

, the young generation will be addicted to it.

This

situation has led to the destruction of their future lives, resulting in losing their responsibilities for their school tasks and becoming ignorant towards their surroundings. In conclusion, smartphones are very common among children nowadays;

consequently

, their activities rely on them. So, some of them will stick to it for long periods of time every day. From my point of view,

this

habit is good for them to know earlier to assist their needs. Parents can teach their beloved ones; whenever they use the gadgets.

Submitted by riani.the2 on Fri Aug 30 2024

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task achievement

Your essay would benefit from more specific examples to support your main points. For instance, you could mention particular studies or instances where smartphones have either positively or negatively impacted children.

coherence cohesion

There are a few grammatical errors and awkward phrases that should be corrected. For example, 'changing in a very fast phase' should be 'changing at a very fast pace.' Also, ensure that the noun phrases are consistent and clear.

coherence cohesion

Make sure to have a clearer separation between your arguments for and against smartphone usage by children. This will enhance the logical structure and make your essay more cohesive.

coherence cohesion

Your introduction and conclusion are clear and provide a good frame for your essay. This helps guide the reader through your argument effectively.

task achievement

You have addressed both parts of the task prompt by discussing why children spend hours on their smartphones and your opinion on whether this is positive or negative.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

280 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

smartphones
usage
technology
accessibility
convenience
entertainment
gaming
social media
communication
educational resources
addiction
dependence
negative effects
physical health
mental health

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Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case ? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development ?

Fully explain your ideas

some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. why is this the case? do you think this is a positive or a negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. write at least 250 words

In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?

Prison is the common way in most countries to solve the problem of crime. However, a more effective solution is to provide people with a better education. Agree or disagree.

The movement of people from agriculture areas to big cites has caused many problems at both places. What are the reasons for this problem and how can it be solved.