The line graph shows the average number of weekly patients visiting four clinics of a hospital from 2010 to 2016. Number of patients to four clinics in one hospital (Anelya2)

The line graph shows the average number of weekly patients visiting four clinics of a hospital from 2010 to 2016. Number of patients to four clinics in one hospital (Anelya2)
IELTS Writing Task Chart for The line graph shows the average number of weekly patients visiting four clinics of a hospital from 2010 to 2016. Number of patients to four clinics in one hospital (Anelya2)
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The given chart presents information about the number of patients who weekly visit a hospital for some reason like birth control, view, diabetes or dental issues from 2010 to 2016.
Overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
the number of patients visiting with perception, diabetic and dental problems increased over the given time period,
while
Linking Words
the rate for birth control fluctuated and reached the same level for the same time recorded. In 2010, the proportion of people who visited a hospital
with
Change preposition
for
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a reason of sight was in the middle level but
then
Linking Words
rose. The figure
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
eye and diabetic issues increased moderately in 2012,
whereas
Linking Words
at the same time, the number of dental problems reduced gradually. Meanwhile, the proportion of diabetic and dental problems fluctuated,
while
Linking Words
the total of vision rose substantially.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the proportion of birth control fluctuated from 2010 to 2016. In spite of a substantial drop in 2014, the statistic reached the same level that was at the beginning of the graph.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "fluctuated" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "substantially" was used 2 times.
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