IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Your are living in a university residence, and you have a problem with the high levels of Boise a letter campus restaurant Wich is open until midnight

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Mir Sir or Madam In recent days, near our living residence has opened a new
restaurant
Use synonyms
 campus. And I just thought that it was the time to bring those problems to your attention to ensure the reputation of your famous university and the comfort of its users Now I explain the
problem
Use synonyms
 which we have visited these days.
Firstly
Linking Words
 we cannot sleep normally because the
restaurant
Use synonyms
 works until midnight. It's very effective in our effective working in lessons. The other
problem
Use synonyms
 is that sometimes the clients of restaurants can drink alcoholic drinks and behave badly I think
this
Linking Words
problem
Use synonyms
 was created
due to
Linking Words
 a late work
restaurant
Use synonyms
 that sold alcoholic products.Of course, I will accept you if you say it's not your
problem
Use synonyms
. I think if you do the work time of the
restaurant
Use synonyms
 from eight to eleven evening it will be an amazing idea to reduce
this
Linking Words
problem
Use synonyms
, and I think
good
Change the article
a good
show examples
 idea if you put two or three security in school. Sorry for spending your time, but I think you have completed
this
Linking Words
 thing Yours faithfully John Kennedy

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Language
Ensure consistent spelling, e.g., 'Boise' should be 'noise', and 'Wich' should be 'which'.
Content
Expand on your points for better clarity. For example, describe how the noise specifically affects your ability to study or sleep.
Coherence
Provide a clearer conclusion, reiterating the main points discussed and emphasizing the appeal for action.
Cohesion
Consider breaking your paragraphs into clearer sections, which can help with the logical flow of ideas.
Content
The letter clearly outlines the main issues related to the restaurant, making the concerns understandable.
Task Achievement
The suggestions provided for resolving the issues demonstrate a constructive approach.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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